How to pass a drug test to get a job


pass a drug test to get a jobThis is probably the quintessential topic I get asked about across all pass a drug test forums, online, on Facebook, and on the street, sometimes even when I’m in line just trying to get a soy latte. “Dave, how can I pass a drug test for a new job?”

It’s like listening to the same top 40 song over and over. Nonetheless, my pretties, I will answer here, and once I have, you can use this post as a reference for future questions about how to pass any drug test.

First up, we have the classic: the urine drug test. The simplest way I know how to pass a urine test is to a) abstain completely, followed by b) cleanse your body with a permanent detox kit, followed by c) strenuous exercise BUT only until the 48 hours before the urine test. You don’t want to be burning fat any closer to the test than that because then you’re re-releasing any residual THC back into your bloodstream (because THC lives in your fat stores.)

Next, seemingly today’s employers’ new fav: the hair follicle drug test. This one is pretty simple to pass, but you have to listen to my advice. a) don’t use household bleach guys, seriously. It just burns the hell out of your scalp and does nothing but damage your hair, while still leaving behind the toxins and residues that will have you failing your drug test anyway. b) DO use a drug test shampoo, and if you can find a hair drug test shampoo and conditioner, even better.

For you hardcore, longterm, heavy users, there’s only one way my friends. And that is TOTAL abstention coupled with a COMPLETE and permanent body cleanse. The only one I know of that works and doesn’t use BS masking agents and adulterants is the permanent detox from

And that’s all she (he) wrote! BAM! Now go tell your friends and keep them from singeing their hair or using synthetic urine, which yes, is still illegal.




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