Daily Show takes Florida Gov. Rick Scott to task… hilarious and eye-opening

Posted on December 12, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 3 Comments

Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi took Florida Governor Rick Scott to task by asking him for a urine sample at a press conference recently. The ever-forward Mandvi disrupted the proceedings quite vociferously… asking the Gov if he wouldn’t mind taking a urine test, just you know, to make sure he can pass a drug test the same way he expects everyone who needs state assistance to do. The hilarious part, beyond Mandvi’s relentless execution, is that the joke about drug testing for welfare has so far found that less than two percent of those tested for the Florida welfare program have tested positive for ANY drug at all.

According to IBT, “The state is required to reimburse Florida residents for the cost of the $30 drug tests. Since only about 2 percent of welfare recipients have failed drug tests, the Tampa Tribune reports the state will owe between $28,800 to $43,200 in reimbursements per month, assuming 1,000 to 1,500 applicants are tested. Over a 12-month period, the state will only save $60,000, at most, on rejected welfare applicants, a puny savings for a program that state analysts have predicted will cost $178 million this fiscal year.”

Yeah, this sounds like a really worthwhile pursuit. Whether Rick can pass a drug test or not is kind of beside the point. The point is that he was just made a laughing stock on national TV for all the right reasons. Drug testing people for something they have a legal right to as citizens is unconstitutional. If you don’t agree, you’re arguing with facts, not my opinion.

Let me here from you–what do you think about Aasif Mandvi’s actions at the press conference with Rick Scott?

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Pass a Hair Drug Test :: Bob Marley would have had his work cut out for him

Posted on December 6, 2011 by DrugTestDave| Leave a comment

pass hair drug testFor Bob Marley to pass a hair drug test, let’s be honest, the guy would had to have worn one of those dreadlocks wigs you see popping up around Halloween and at bachelor parties. Here’s a guy who ended warring factions with his music, but he could not have passed a drug test if his life depended on it.

So what does that say about the very nature of drug testing in the first place? Well, Bob Marley may have been nearly a prophet and a talented musician, but you probably wouldn’t want him as your secretary–which is why secretaries have to take drug tests (I guess?) But then, I’m also guessing that most people applying for secretary positions do not smoke marijuana in the epic proportions Bob Marley did.

But if said secretary did enjoy the occasional smoke, s/he could still do a great job if she had to pass a hair drug test if she prepared the right way. And if said secretarial applicant was smart, she’d be using Two Steps A’Head to pass a drug test. It’s fast, easy, and way less complicated than all those things you read on the Internet about peroxide this, dye that, shake three times, add this, bleach that, and so on. The mere instructions of a DIY attempt at passing a hair drug test are enough to make you wanna… well, we’ll leave it at that for now.

Bob Marley never had to pass a hair drug test to my knowledge, but you may have to. Unless you’re already at rockstar status. In which case, rock on.

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Newt Gingrich believes you should be murdered for having 2 ounces of weed on you

Posted on December 1, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 6 Comments
Newt Gingrich smokes pot

I smoked pot. Then I became a politician and decided having it should be punishable by death. :)

Yep, I said that right. Newt Gingrich tried to pass a bill in 1996 that would seek the death penalty for a person who is caught with two ounces of marijuana on them. The bill, called “Drug Importer Death Penalty Act of 1996″ is an oldie but a goodie; vintage Newt.

My favorite part is that it’s common knowledge among pundits and those in the loop that Gingrich smoked weed, at least at one point in his life. He conveniently excuses this stating that you know, that’s just how the country was at that time, you know, and stuff. Bro, that’s just how things have been in this country since then as well–that is to say, people still enjoy smoking marijuana… Newt just quit because he started a political career and we know those two things mix as well as he and Mitt at a cocktail party.

Americans are looking to Newt now as the Republican front runner, which is scary enough. The fact that he would actually even conceive of putting someone to death for having pot is just old fashioned crazy. Crazy like internment camps and gas chambers. And it’s mean. Mean like leaving your wife when you find out she has cancer.

So is Newt just inherently evil? Or does he just need to take a giant bong rip? I feel pretty sure we’d all have liked the stoner Newt from the 1960s more than the Freddie Mac lobbyist Newt Gingrich of today. You know you’ve got some self-flagellating to do when Jack Abramoff says you’re bad news. I mean, really.

So is the death penalty for marijuana something we can look forward to if Newt wins the general election in 2012? Maybe, maybe not. But we can certainly expect that it will mean he’ll put the kibosh on any ideas about responsible marijuana legislation and taxation, which is what this country needs not just to fight crime, but to keep our borders safe, stop illegal drug trade, buy American instead of illegally smuggled, and stop contributing to the arms trade to Mexico’s drug cartels.

Newt seems to be talking his way through lots of brick walls in order to get to the Oval Office–explaining failed marriages, now drug use, secret lobbying, and yes, even making that commercial with Nancy Pelosi!

Well, if things don’t work out don’t worry Newt–you can always spark one up and  order a pizza from Herman Cain when you get the munchies. I’m sure Rick Perry will join you too–he can’t even remember what he’s campaigning for or against or where he is 50% of the time.

And like the rest of the country, you too will be able to say “What a long, strange trip it’s been” come November 2012. Until then, try not to kill anyone.

Do YOU think Newt Gingrich could pass a drug test? Tell me what you think!

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Miley Cyrus and the Stoner Stereotype

Posted on November 27, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 2 Comments
pass a drug test

Workin' hard, not hardly working.

Miley Cyrus is nearing twenty years of age, and the days of denying her use of marijuana are far behind her… all the way back in 2010. But while Cyrus did make a comment about her Bob Marley birthday cake being a sure sign that her friends think she smokes too much weed, there is something to be said for this pot-smoking dynamo.

Miley’s good friend Kelly Osborne stated, “if Miley isn’t recording/filming/touring, she works every day. How could she possibly do all that if she was a stoner?” Could this comment be a contradictory statement that kills the “stoner” stereotype? We know for a fact that Miley no longer denies usng marijuana, and we know for a fact that she is a hard worker, pumping out movies, songs, clothing lines, and much more.

Could it be that someone who smokes marijuana isn’t a lazy do-nothing? Of course. It may not be the best choice for everyone, but for those who use marijuana responsibly, it’s really no different than responsibly drinking wine or having a few cocktails.

The issue for those of us who are not entertainment moguls is that most of us have to pass a drug test for employment, regardless of whether we’re working at a coffee shop, for the military, if we’re teamsters or even hair dressers.

While it may no longer be the big bad wolf the way it was during the days of filmstrips about the dangers of marijuana cigarettes, smoking pot is still an outlaw affair if you want to keep your job.

But with every popularly perceived evil, there is an antidote. And that’s why if you want to maintain your liberties and freedoms, you’ll also need to make sure you can pass a drug test… because liberty and justice don’t pay the bills.

To quote Miley, “There’s always gonna be another mountain,” we agree. But if you like “The Climb,” then you better be prepared for the urine drug test you’ll have to take afterwards.

Freedom isn’t free, but it’s definitely for sale.

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Rihanna Visits a Cannabis Cafe… And?

Posted on November 19, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 2 Comments
Rihanna at cannabis club

"Rude Girl" isn't slang for offensive celebrity.

Recently during her European tour, Rihanna was seen at the Bulldog Café in Amsterdam. For moms and dads out there who haven’t gotten the memo yet, Rihanna isn’t a role model for young girls. But why should she be? I mean, nevermind cannabis, do you really want your tween running down the halls singing “what’s my name” to all the boys?

The media spin of her visit to a “pot club” has been interesting. Articles suggest that–up til now–Rihanna has been the vestige of all that is pure and good for our young generation of girls. Really? Why? We’ll give her props for standing against domestic violence by breaking up with Chris Brown, but beyond that, if you’re looking for a Mickey Mouse Club type (and, ahem, we see how that plan worked out) Rihanna shouldn’t even be on your radar.

The fact that she’s being vilified for her jaunt into the Bulldog has me wondering what parents out there are most concerned about. Marijuana should be responsibly legislated, legalized, taxed, and end of story. But that would still make Rihanna quite eligible, certainly in Amsterdam! She’s now in her mid-20s, not her mid-teens. I’d personally be much more concerned about my daughter taking a liking to Brit-Brit or her little sis–who got pregnant at 16. I’d be much more concerned if my daughter was a fan of Bristol Palin, the Bush twins, or had taken up listening to music that belittles and objectifies women. I’d be much more concerned if my kids wanted to be like Amy Winehouse, Lil’ Wayne, or any other hot star right now… because these are adults or people put in adult position due to their stardom.

It’s not the job of celebrities–be they musicians, actors, dancers, or whatever–to be the role models of our children. Our children need solid guidance, and that doesn’t come from celebs. And sadly, the chances that our kiddos are going to be into Michael Buble or Sandra Bullock are pretty slim.

Adults making adult choices. Choosing to use marijuana responsibly is no different than choosing to drink alcohol responsibly. KEYWORD: responsibly. Kids are kids, and we have to teach them about and protect them from adult things like sex, drugs, booze, and more. We also have to teach them that adults are allowed to make choices–because they are adults.

So if Rihanna wants to visit a cannabis cafe, unless she has to pass a drug test for some reason, who cares. She’s not on some panel for a better America, and she’s sure never portrayed herself as someone fighting the drug war for America.

Have your say: Do you think celebrities should be in the dog house if they can’t pass a drug test? Should we expect musicians and actors to “be on good behavior” if they smoke marijuana? Does one visit to a cannabis club make a Charlie Sheen out of Rihanna? Should celebs whose demographic includes kids and teens be made to pass a drug test as part of their contracts? You be the judge–tell me what you think!

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Big Boi passes his drug test :: Celebrity Drug Testing

Posted on November 13, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 2 Comments

pass a marijuana testAccording to BET news, Big Boi has passed his mandatory drug test. The news update on their site reads as follows:

“Big Boi appeared in a Miami court Thursday and passed his second mandatory drug test. The procedure is part of his plea deal that require he pass three consecutive tests.

The Atlanta rapper was arrested in August when he entered the port of Miami. He was found with MDMA, Viagra, and a pipe with marijuana residue. In October, he accepted a plea deal that would have him perform community service, pay a $2,000 fine, and pass mandatory drug test.

His next test will be scheduled in 30 days.”

Congrats, Big Boi. But I have to use this opportunity to note my frustration about marijuana drug testing in particular. I hope Big Boi isn’t just having to pass a marijuana test given what else was found, but beyond that, I’d like to speak out against marijuana drug testing, especially with regard to employment drug testing.

Over the past couple of weeks especially, I have counseled and spoken to many more people than usual about how stressed out and scared they are about passing their tests. Two people in particular come to mind right now. The first is a young sales professional who has his first shot after over a year of unemployment for the sales position of his dreams. The other, a young college grad who sadly failed his drug test when it went in for additional testing (see gas chromatography and mass spectrometry.)

Both of these young professionals were light users, and neither had any priors, any DUIs or DWIs. Both have impressive resumes, and both are upstanding citizens with families to feed.

Drug tests should be reserved for drug abusers and those on probation for felony crimes, not for regular John and Jane Q. Public who smoke to fight insomnia, use marijuana for pain management, or yes, even use marijuana responsibly just as any other adult would responsibly drink alcohol. Keyword being RESPONSIBLE.

I’d like to hear from any and all who read this post–what is your opinion? What do YOU think about drug testing regular people for marijuana as part of pre-employment and/or random drug testing in the workplace? Send me your comments.

Here’s to hoping that living in a free country will actually mean we are free to responsibly use marijuana or use medical marijuana legally in the near future.

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Responsible Marijuana Legislation

Posted on November 5, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 2 Comments
pass a random drug test

Responsible Marijuana Legislation

An initiative for responsible legalization of marijuana will be on the 2012 ballot in Colorado. The state, which legalized medical marijuana years ago, has had a petition signed by nearly 100,000 people who agree that marijuana should be treated just as alcohol is.

If marijuana can be made legal in this ONE state of the union, we will be able to see uniquivically that indeed, it is for the greater good. Why? Why not? Well, let me explain why.

First of all, when you take something like marijuana out of the realm of the criminal underbelly of society–where it doesn’t belong–you can tax it! Research indicates that if marijuana is legalized, hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes could be the result. In this economy, and with tax hikes being everyone’s worst fears for ever-diminishing paychecks (for those of us who actually get one) a marijuana tax could literally be a lifesaver.

Next up, eliminate the criminal element: If we tax and regulate marijuana, we will effectively put those who sell it illegally out of business–much like prohibition brought the Al Capones of this world to their knees. Why get something illegally when you can get it legally and not worry about getting arrested, going to court, going to prison, and so on?

Speaking of prison, an initiative to legalize marijuana would eliminate an enormous percentage of “crimes” that wind “criminals” up in our legal system, flooding it with capricious, needless lawsuits and filling our prisons with people who bought or sold marijuana. Another massive way we can save money, and indeed, help save our crumbling economy.

As the Colorado initiative states, the legal age–if the bill is passed–would be 21, just as it is with alcohol. This is why we call it responsible legislation. See, many “red state types” consider those who use marijuana to be a fringe element–a people who don’t care about the coming generations, a people whose mantra is do whatever you want. Not so.

Those of us who partake in marijuana use are just as concerned about people too young getting involved, just as any of us would be concerned about someone drinking or smoking cigarettes too young. Yes, there must be boundaries, but why should there be an all-out “NO” for people who are adults? If we pay our taxes–just as we would on wine or beer–why not legalize marijuana? Imagine all the people who are GREAT at their jobs who won’t have to worry about passing a random drug test or having to pass a drug test just to get a job when what they do on their off time has no bearing on how well they perform at work. Geez, what an idea!

I hope the 2012 responsible legislation for marijuana in Colorado passes. And I hope it’s a smash success. I hope Colorado makes tax money hand over fist that goes toward much needed programs like health care, children’s programs, and effective ways to bring renewable energy to the state. It could actually be the best thing since edibles.

I want to hear what you think about Colorado’s responsible marijuana legislation. Leave a comment below! Peace to all.

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Occupy Wall Street Marijuana Movement

Posted on October 31, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 2 Comments

Occupy Wall Street marijuanaI’m loving the Occupy Wall Street Movement and the efforts of the 99%. I love that the message is that essentially, there are so many messages, not only one can hover above all the rest. There’s simply too much going on to single out one issue.

But while for some the issue is the Fed, and for others the issue is unfair taxation, my issue is with our country’s healthcare, insurance, and method of providing (not just having on-hand) such phenomenal healthcare.

A big chunk of the healthcare pie is pain management. Those who need pain management often cannot get it, and when they do, they often find themselves in the grip of a very real addiction to pain medications. Option in pain management also stop working over time, especially those that are used for cancer, post-surgical procedures, and for long term issues such as arthritis and fibromyalgia.

There’s not enough plausible information out there right now about how well medical marijuana works for pain management in general. So, for my part of the Occupy Movement, I’d like to suggest that we get to work on solutions for pain, because pain sucks and we know marijuana works to diminish pain in a number of ways.

We need to occupy our doctors offices–those of us who have one–and let them know how we feel about medical marijuana as an option for pain management. If you have a story about how marijuana has helped cure or rid you of your pain, please comment on this blog.

I want to hear from all of you Occupiers out there who hear me on this issue!

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The Whiz Kid: You’re not as lucky as Vince

Posted on October 24, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 3 Comments

The Whiz Kid pass a drug test The mid-August article from Hollywood.com about the Entourage episode. “The Whiz Kid” by Kelsea Stahler is a great read. She discusses the thinness of the plot surrounding multiple subplots, but her focus on Vince’s having to pass a drug test is pricelessly dead on. Here’s what Kelsea had to say:

“After a series of ‘remedies’ dreamed up by Drama, Vince seeks help from Billy Walsh, who gives him a fake penis filled with someone else’s THC-less urine. Lovely. This starts an argument between Vince and E which should have weight to it, but when Vince literally flashes his fake penis to Eric and they begin arguing over what is literally a silicone penis, I lost it. It was only a matter of time before these ever-present arguments descended to that place – a place so low they are literally arguing about penises. E says using it will ruin Vince’s career, but Vince has some Hollywood guardian angel so he passes and doesn’t get caught and the boys all laugh and play as they toss the drug-test saving fake penis around like a gaggle of little girls in a pillow fight at a slumber party.”

I really can’t agree more. Passing a drug test is no laughing matter–just look at the thousands of posts on Marijuana.com‘s drug testing forums and you’ll see countless people concerned about job loss, inability to get a job in the first place, probation, and the list goes on. My heart especially goes out to those who have a legal prescription for medical marijuana from a doctor, but who work under employers with drug policy that goes against what is LEGAL. How is that fair?

Using a fake penis and substituting urine is a horrible idea–it’s illegal for one, and not only do you stand a higher chance of getting caught, you stand a great chance of tarnishing your reputation as labs don’t just have the right to tell your employer you failed, they also have the right to say how you failed.

I find it sad that the writers and producers of Entourage felt this was a good message to send its viewership. How many people will now go and try to pass a drug test in the same inane way that Vince did simply because on a scripted show it worked for the protagonist? Shameful guys, shameful.

The best way to pass a drug test is to rid your body of toxins before the test. I cannot emphasize this enough, nor can I reiterate anymore seriously how important it is to test at home first so YOU know before THEY know if you’ll pass a drug test. Grab some at-home test kits here.

Let me hear form you guys. What did you think of The Whiz Kid episode?

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Is Marijuana Illegal?

Posted on October 10, 2011 by DrugTestDave| 9 Comments
marijuana prohibition

Who runs things when what the people want is prohibited?

In modern US history, this has to be one of the most commonly asked questions. So what’s the answer? Is marijuana illegal? Is marijuana legal? The common answer you’ll find is that it is illegal–but there are all kinds of caveats to this “law,” as it were.

I’d say the majority of people are asking this question because they want to know if they are breaking any laws, and if so, what the implications of breaking those laws might be. But right now, in 2011, there is so much gray area that even the most astute students of law can’t tell you which was is up entirely.

First, of course, you have the federal level, which for all intents and purposes would have any of its representatives tell you that marijuana is illegal and that failing a drug test positive for THC would–because of this federal law–mean you have committed a crime.

But then you have the “state by state” issue–even though technically marijuana has been made illegal by the highest courts in the land, each state has its own laws that govern the growth, distribution, and use of marijuana. So what’s fine in California is not fine in Arizona (neighbors!) and what may be considered permissible medical marijuana use in Hawaii isn’t in Iowa.

And then there’s my favorite issue: “If medical marijuana is legal where I live, and I have a medical marijuana card and a prescription from a doctor, how is it legal for my boss to fire me for smoking marijuana?!” Apparently, because businesses are allowed to have their own regulations that don’t conform to law, you can in fact, be terminated for smoking marijuana–even if you have cancer, even if your state allows it, and even if it’s the only thing that helps with your ongoing medical condition.

Many people liken the marijuana law to Prohibition, and if you’ve been watching Boardwalk Empire, you can see the intricacies of the lovely road that that leads down. Insidious crime, merciless money-grubbing, and finally, EVERYONE rubbing elbows with the right people to get what everyone wants… and the battle rages on.

Tell me what you think. Why should marijuana be illegal? Why should you have to pass a drug test to get a job–or welfare? Why shouldn’t you be able to ease discomforts of illness with medical grade marijuana? I want to hear from you, no matter what side of the fence you’re standing on.

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