Who's really getting drained?

Well, the first state of our ever bright union to use drug testing for welfare was Florida. Despite massive financial and humanitarian failures, and in the face of clear strikes against constitutional rights, the sunshine state carries on, continuing to blood drug test welfare applicants.

“So what?” you say, “doesn’t sound unfair to me.” Well, it may not, and even if you don’t give a hoot about the constitutional or civil rights of those who have to take these blood drug tests, you probably do care about your rights as a taxpayer, and that’s a bug part of what’s wrong with this picture. That is to say, for those who fail the drug test performed by the state, they’re just out $30. For those who pass the drug test–which is about 98.5% of all those tested, the state reimburses them the $30. You take $30 and multiply it by the number of people testing and passing, roughly 200,000 since the inception of the program in Florida alone, and I’ll let you do the rest of the math problem. So whose “the state” whose paying? John Q. Public, that’s right, Johnny Taxpayer–YOU.

And now, according to the Boston Herald, “Oklahoma and Tennessee are the latest states about to require drug tests of those applying for welfare benefits.” And not surprisingly, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin says this is how taxpayers will keep from having to subsidize the drug using population that takes advantage of welfare and assistance programs to keep using. Yep, all two percent of them who can’t pass a drug test will be kept from abusing the tax payers–that’s the state’s job! So instead of forking over hundreds of dollars in assistance that may get misspent by a drug addict, people of the great states of Tennessee, Florida, and Oklahoma get to fork over hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars to reimburse the nearly 99% of welfare applicants who have to take these tests and pass with flying colors… because they’re not on drugs!

It’s 2012. And on another note, it’s time to stop arresting and charging people for criminal activity when all they’ve been up to is smoking a little pot. A shocking majority of those serving time in our prison system are there for drug related offenses–of those, 4 out of 5 are related to marijuana. So speaking of your rights as a tax payer, do you enjoy paying for three square meals a day and keeping the roof over incarcerated persons’ heads who could and should be home with their families? Do you suspect as I do that prisons are as much a part of the corporate American landscape as Walmart and McDonald’s? Did you know that the same company that owns the most lucrative hotel chains in the world is also the owner of most “for profit” prisons in the US? Yep. Remember that the next time you choose Marriott hotels.

Let me hear from all of you. I want to know what you think of drug testing for welfare and the fact that now 28 states have a bill in their congress for this cause. Do you think they should be passed into law or struck down?

For more information on how to pass a drug test for pre-employment or to learn how to pass a random drug test, please visit www.PassADrugTest.com. Best of luck to you ALL.

-Dave

I mean, really? Come on guys...

Guys, guys, guys. If for no other reason than to save my sanity, please, stop using synthetic urine to try to pass a drug test. In the past  several days, more and more of you are complaining that fake pee just isn’t working.

For those of you new to the world of drug testing and awesome drug testing forums like Marijuana.com, you are off the hook. But for those of you who for weeks, months, and years have been seeking advice, giving advice, reading and writing on such forums about the issues of how to pass a drug test, shame on you guys!

We know that QuickFix doesn’t work. Stop telling me the batch number, or which state you bought it in, or telling me that the stuff from Canada works while the stuff made in the US does not. NONE OF IT WORKS! Labs, especially Quest and Labcorp, are totally and completely on to QuickFix and other synthetics like it. All they have to do is a quick secondary screen and BAM, inconclusive “this ain’t human wee wee” results pop up left and right due to insufficient levels of creatinine, or wacky pH, or weirdo acidity that raises red flags.

So do yourself a favor. If you are considering subbing urine to pass a drug test, please don’t. I’ve kinda had it. If you want to pass a drug test and you have more than three seconds to prepare (another thing I need to blog about, if you have five days, use them, don’t message me the night before the test when you’ve known about it for five days! Come on!) then go get a permanent cleanser. Seriously, it could not be more simple. It’s so easy! Don’t fight against the current just because you need to be right–this is not the place to die on the sword because you have a need to “show us all.” Get cleansed, pass your drug test, then go invent a synthetic urine that actually works. Then you and I can have something worth talking about!

-Dave

Season 6 begins May 2012

Well, Dr. Drew will be hitting the airwaves again with Celebrity Rehab, whether you like it or not. Most of you like it, and I have to say, when Dr. Drew is doling out some of his solemn wisdom on someone with serious drug addiction issues, it’s a nice change of pace from celebrating celebrity downfall on Jersey Shore, and so on.

But at this point, are we in some way celebrating the dysfunction of celebrity drug rehab and addiction to very dangerous drugs when we tune in to watch Dr. Drew on VH1? It’s a question I am asking in all earnestness.

Now I like Dr. Drew a lot, and feel that over the years he’s given young people answers that are real and grounded in reality rather than simple black and white/yes and no/not reality-based responses. But I still don’t agree with Dr. Pinski’s take on marijuana. Now, you’re saying, of course you don’t Dave, you’re Drug Test Dave! But it’s not quite that simple.

I’m not suggesting that even regular or daily pot smoking should be deemed acceptable or even normal, but the cut and dry “never ever” take on marijuana I think is dangerous and limiting. I mean, would Dr. Drew have the same feeling about marijuana if it were legal, regulated, taxed, and all that? Certainly he would deem it appropriate for someone without a drinking problem to have a glass of wine with dinner–but would he if it were illegal?

I guess my question boils down to, is it a matter of addiction, or in some cases, could it be considered a case of what our social mores allow for? If marijuana was 100% legal, would it then be acceptable in the doctor’s eyes to indulge responsibly, say after dinner or at a birthday celebration?

Maybe one day we will hear why people who share a spliff with neighbors at a barbecue have to pass a drug test while their drinking buddy counterparts won’t have to worry–even if they show up to work hung over from having alcohol mere hours before.

You all know that at the end of the day, I weigh injustice by who has to be able to pass a drug test and how often. Random alcohol screenings seem crazy, don’t they, nonsmoker population?

It’s all food for thought, and hopefully something we can hear from Dr. Drew about in this sixth season of Celebrity Rehab.

Great news. The drug testing forums on Marijuana.com are now better equipped than ever to help you pass a drug test. A team of drug testing experts has assembled to man the live chat station on MJ, which you can find among the forums on the Drug Testing Guide (You can click the “Pass A Drug Test” tab at the top of the navigation bar, or click here and bookmark.)

So what does this mean for you exactly? Well, it means that rather than just relying on peers who are in the same boat as you when it comes to facing a drug test, both you and your peers can turn to actual experts in drug testing solutions who can answer your questions with concrete data and professional opinions based on real experience from helping thousands of people pass a drug test.

This is a great turn of events for Marijuana.com because so many of the questions people have at all times of day (and night) can now actually be answered rather than just simply speculated on.

So if you are a Marijuana.com regular on the drug testing forums as so many of us are, then you now know where to turn in moments of crisis. These drug testing experts can enlighten you on how to pass a drug test fast, which cleansers and detox products are the best fit for you and your scenario, and all kinds of other things. They’re even equipped to walk you through how to use hair drug test shampoo so you don’t have to worry about your follicle drug test now either.

Check it out and ask your drug testing questions when you can so these experts can get their chops up with the MJ crowd and see how many people will actually be hitting them up on the regular for information on how to pass a drug test.

I’m excited about this development and hope everyone gets the most out of it. My main goal on these boards is for all of you to pass your drug test and wait by patiently and stress-free for the day when urine and hair drug tests are a thing of the past!

Peace,

-Dave

The most dreaded day of the year!

Every year, those of us in the “smoking community” get together any way we can to celebrate 4/20. But what we seem to fatefully forget every single year is that 4/20 is always followed by… 4/21! Yep–this is known to be just about as much fun as 4/20 is for stoners, but for bosses instead. See, 4/21 is the worst day ever for those of use who don’t come to work prepared to pass a drug test.

This year, 4/21 falls on a Saturday, so most of us lucked out with a couple of extra days to detox before a “random” drug test (note the bunny ears please.) Nonetheless, every employer in the land will be very excited to pass out fun plastic cups with temperature stickers and lids out on Monday, 4/23. If you think this won’t apply to you, either a) think back to last year (oh yeah… crap!) or don’t be foolish enough to count your drug-free chickens before they hatch.

If you want to be able to pass a drug test after 4/20, just do what I do and start preparing with a detox product as soon as you can. If you know you will have more than three days on your side, you can opt for a permanent cleanse, which takes the average person about four days to complete. If you only have the one day (or less) to prepare, then you still have the very viable option of the same day detox, which you can use with as little as one hour on your side before you have to pee into the cup.

Make sure you have the detox product on hand for the big day, or if you don’t get it as soon as you possibly can, and let this be a lesson to you for next year crazy!

For those of you lucky enough to work for employers and bosses who don’t care about 4/20 and who don’t drug test (because they don’t even know what 4/20 is) please, don’t rub it in our faces–help us pass the drug test by standing by with the carb-loaded fast food and a sweet couch to post up on while we try not to expend any calories the day before the drug test!

And just like a public service announcement, it’s all about the more you know. So prepare right away by calling the team at PassADrugTest.com so you can find out which product is best for your needs before you get in trouble rather than after.

Happy 4/20 to all, and here’s to all of us still having our jobs when the drug test results come back on 4/24!

Cheers,

Dave

You've got this in the bag

As a drug forum moderator, this has to be the most common question I get asked. It seems like no matter how many times this question gets answered by extremely qualified posters on open forums about how to pass a test for marijuana, there is still an insatiable thirst for new answers all the time.

So here it is folks, drum roll please….

It’s different for every person and in every circumstance.

Sorry, I know that was probably extremely anticlimactic for most of you, but here’s the deal. You see, even since the last time you were tested for drugs, things have changed. Subtle differences in your diet, your weight, medications you started or stopped taking, hormone levels, stress levels, and a million other things I don’t have time to list here will all contribute to different results each and every time you take a drug test.

So how can we possibly prepare then Dave? What gives man!?

Here’s the deal. Because passing a drug test will be a different kind of challenge each time, you will need to always be prepared to be prepared–if that makes any sense. In other words, don’t wait until you find out you have to take a drug test to start scrambling for the solution. HAVE solutions on hand to pass a drug test, and then 99 percent of your issues will vanish into thin air.

For those of you who are on the job hunt, I have to tell you something you may not want to hear: You need to start abstaining as of right now, and do a permanent cleanse right away. After that, maintain a decent diet and quality exercise, and when the big day comes, you will pass your drug test with absolutely no issues whatsoever.

For those of you facing the dreaded random drug test and literally have no idea when it could rear its ugly head, be prepared by buying a same day detox solution and keeping that sucker on hand. Whether it’s in your glove box or your back pack, keep that baby nearby and ready for action because random drug testing is… very random and tailor made to take you by surprise.

Read all the instructions ahead of time so your not scampering around like a school girl with a secret when the boss hands you the peepee cup. Like a boy scout, you must always be prepared! And believe me, the preparation kills more stress than yoga my friend. Knowing that you’ve got this with ease and that you know exactly how to pass a drug test without issue brings about a sense of calm that makes it possible for you to actually have a shot at passing–and without having to engage in any of the crazy things you hear about online, like subbing urine with synthetic pee or your nephew’s urine, or drinking bleach, which of course I am wildly opposed to and don’t recommend for people or even roaches or lab rats even.

Do what I say and passing your drug test will be a walk in the park. It’s pretty simple… IF you make it that way.

The American Dream

The modern US culture is fraut with serious drug addiction. I’m not talking about Reagan’s America where we’re looking for addicts slumped over in dirty hallways or emaciated wanderers looking for a vein. I’m not talking about the war on street drugs in which the target is clearly drawn across the crack peddler and the pusherman of 1970s urban culture. I’m talking about the pharmacy and the corporate machine that backs it, making real addiction seem like a natural side effect of having a decent way to deliver medicine to patients.

It’s not natural, and it’s not a side effect we should be okay with. And so we turn to Edie Falco, who has portrayed Nurse Jackie for three seasons, now moving into its fourth. What she had to say about Jackie finally getting what she had coming is awesome.

Falco told the Bangor Daily News, “Addiction has had such an impact on my life and the people I love, and there really is not a lot about it that is funny. So the last thing I wanted was to give the impression that it’s all fun and games, and isn’t it funny what she gets away with. It’s important that we are accurate as far as showing the ramifications of this kind of behavior.”

Nurse Jackie had been dabbling quite liberally in pharmaceuticals, and enjoyed her carte blanche love affair with pain killers–just as MANY Americans do. And now with the death of a long line of celebrities trailing off into the horizon just behind us, it has become clear we are a culture driven by a need to de-stress, to disappear, to make our problems vanish, no matter how artificially or for how short a period of time–we need to make reality go away, and we are killing ourselves doing just that. Why?

Because our country has some bizarre notion that marijuana is terrible, and should be illegal, and that other far more harmful “drugs” have benefit and are surely safe because a doctor’s name is on the bottle. It’s a rather clear and present danger if you are able to see past the degrees on the wall and understand that what we have before us is a monstrous display of how right and wrong are decided by who can make money, how much they can make, and how quickly they can make it. At who’s expense is never considered–the only thing that matters is that the money-holder’s agenda is met.

If you have been like Nurse Jackie, you can understand she has a long road in front of her, and that recovery from prescription meds is no joke at all. If this is a real life issue that you or someone you love is dealing with, try incorporating a full body cleanse into the mix to help quell the aches and pains of coming clean. It’s already a hard enough road with little support in the way of understanding that’s public, so if you need to help yourself through the process with a detox product, more power to you.

But in the end don’t ever forget what brought you to this–and that likely, if you did become addicted like Nurse Jackie did to prescription pills, there was probably a very well educated doctor sitting there all along who knows full well that marijuana can solve may problems without causing new ones. Marijuana can be used to bring on appetite, for pain management, for anxiety and panic disorders, and the list goes on. And if you don’t want to smoke it, you don’t have to–edibles are more “in” right now than ever before, so there’s a lot of great bakers and chefs and chocolatiers out there than ever before.

Just a little food for thought

A rite of passage

There’s something about Saturday Night Live that makes it a rite of passage for those who have stumbled off and back onto our celebrity radar. For Lindsay Lohan, second time’s the charm.

Lohan’s recent SNL appearance shows her getting pat down (another cast member is looking for a stash) and also shows her ankle bracelet beeping when she steps just a little too far forward on the stage. While I do enjoy a celebrity–especially one who is not a comedian–being able to make fun of herself, I have to say, this all felt very put on. The rite of passage was too obvious, too formulaic, and thankfully, the rest of this episode made me forget all about the forced opening scene.

Lohan was genius in Real Housewives of Disney, which you MUST now watch if you haven’t already. Here it is:

Will Lindsay Lohan ever be able to just have a beer or smoke a joint, or is she seriously and clinically an addict and a user? I personally think this distinction is one that celebrities have a much harder time defining than us average Joes. But why is that? Why is it that every time a celebrity gets caught smoking weed or having a few drinks that it means they absolutely must be hauled off to a rehab facility?

Is there a serious alcoholism and drug abuse pandemic going on in Hollywood, or is it that celebrities are supposed to be teetotalers? I don’t get it… we want them to be wild and free and represent everything we’re not allowed to be, but then, the moment we see them on camera with a bong or a bottle, off to Malibu they must go–nevermind using a simple body detox program, oh no–they need “serious treatment”–as if 30 days of being forced to room with other people who like booze too much is going to clean you up. Much like prison, all you’re going to learn is how to do it better. And maybe THAT is the REAL reason we have celebrities dropping like flies–because no one can have a freakin’ cocktail and a spliff anymore! It’s all about the virgin/whore complex–you’re either letter-perfect or a trainwreck–nothing in the middle is allowed to exist.

Tell me what you think and share with the rest of us how you passed your drug test too! Inquiring minds want to know

Dancing with the Pills: Will there be a Season 6?

That’s right folks, your favorite juicebox needs recovery time for reported exhaustion that lead to prescription medication addiction and abuse.

Reportedly, Mike Sorrentino, AKA “The Situation” has checked into rehab. According to Dr. Drew, the celebrity from Jersey Shore has a problem with Xanax and Ambien, which the good doctor says can be a deadly combination due to the short-acting effects of both. Apparently, because both of these drugs have a half life of less than four hours, the addiction becomes a problem because users are trying to maintain the euphoria or sleepfulness they attain when on the drug. When their pills can’t keep up with the body’s demand for benzodiazepines or ambien, off to rehab we go.

The Situation is only one of a long line of celebrities to need help to detox from Xanax. At least he is alive to tell the story. We still don’y have the autopsy results for Whitney Houston, but chances are, benzo addiction played a major role in her death, among others this year.

The Situation’s need to be in rehab to detox from drugs may shake things up for the sixth season of the Jersey Shore franchise–especially now that we know Snooki will be heavily pregnant as well. Looks like the fun and games on the boardwalk and all the years of drunken stunts, trips to do laundry, gym, and tanning, and hunting for chicks to smash may have finally paid off… in the most logical manner possible. Unwanted pregnancy and drug addiction–doesn’t everyone have a summer like that?

I wish Mike all the best in recovery, but if he wants to stay on the party circuit, he needs to watch his habits, detox often, get plenty of rest, and try to get rest naturally. He might do well to take a season off, but then, would he be coming back to anything in a year? Or just an image that had washed up like all reality TV stardom does eventually? It’s nothing personal Mike, but maybe you should detox from drugs, stay clean, and try to find a day job. At least that way we won’t have to hear about someone finding your body slumped over in a corner a year from now and be forced to watch your funeral on the Fuse Network.

Amber Portwood can't seem to pass a drug test.

We first met Amber Portwood on 16 & Pregnant a few years ago when she was… 16 and pregnant. Through the course of her pregnancy and subsequent birth of her child, a daughter, we saw her waffle  back and forth on whether or not to stay in a relationship with the father, Gary.

Later, when Amber and Gary and their bundle of joy graduated to Teen Mom fame, we saw Amber berate and battle Gary, until it finally unfolded into a series of pretty serious domestic abuse instances. If you’re not familiar with the show, you’d be inclined to think it was dad who was the perpetrator of abuse–not so.

Since the abuse on footage was aired, MTV pulled no punches. Amber was sentenced to probation, and was also ordered to take drug tests. In December of 2011, Amber failed a drug test, and was sentenced to five years in prison–whoa!

Generally I’m against this kind of heavy sentencing for drug use, but in Amber Portwood’s case, and given that she has been convicted of assault and domestic abuse, I say there’s pretty just cause.

According to TMZ, Amber Portwood was recently unable to pass a drug test because she “didn’t have anything to pee.” Hmm… unfortunately for her, the courts see this as the same as a failed drug test. That said, Amber will have a chance to discuss the situation with the judge next week. However, the judge can make any decision he wants based on her inability to pass a drug test.

Amber Portwood could be spending a nickel at the ladies’ pen, but we’ll have to see what the judge decides next week.

Let me hear from you: Do you think the sentence is fair given the circumstances? Is drug testing EVER fair? Tell me your thoughts!

-Dave