Author Archives: DrugTestDave

2015- Drug Test Taker Advice

If you have a drug test coming up – DrugTestDave has just re-launched our helpline to answer any questions you have have about passing your urine, hair or blood drug test.  Which detox products work, why each home remedy myth you have heard of is crap and won’t work.. and what you should do in your situation based on your toxin levels and testing situation.

Have a question about passing a drug test fast?

How to pass a drug test in 24 hours?

How to pass a drug test with niacin,goldenseal, certo surejell, cranberry juice and water?

Do weed brownies make you fail a drug test?

These answers and more are now available on the site.



Drug Test Dave

High School in St. Louis issues drug tests and random search for drugs.

A St. Louis based high school issued a lockdown and performed random drug searches. This poises a great question we are wondering what you guys think out there. Should High School students face random drug searches and drug testing? What does this teach our children about their right to privacy? Let us know your thoughts in the comment section.

A local St. Louis area high school went on lockdown and performed a random search for drugs. Is this necessary or evil?

Here’s the link to the news story:–244069081.html

Here’s the link to the school’s response:


Medical Marijuana Regulations and bills detox the stigma of Marijuana – but not everyone is sold.

In a recent survey performed online that was released last week over 2/3 of participants stated they would support the further legalization of Marijuana in the United States. This news follows a slue of states moving the directions of over 15 states that now offer some form of medical or recreational marijuana. States like South Carolina have put forward a Decriminalization bill for marijuana. Others like Georgia, Illinois and Wyoming have thwarted recent efforts for legalization in those states.. The saga continues but one thing is certain; legalization of marijuana is one of the largest social developments in recent U.S. history.

Some pleasantly surprising poll results from Michigan, medical marijuana bills are popping up all over the place, the Baby Bou Bou SWAT raid is sparking bills to rein in over-the-top drug raiders, and more. Let’s get to it:

Georgia bills seek to rein in over-the-top drug raiders.

Marijuana Policy

Michigan Poll Has Support for Taxing and Regulating Marijuana at 64%. A SurveyUSA poll released late last week has nearly two-thirds of respondents saying they would support legalizing, taxing, and regulating marijuana to increase school and road funding. That same set of respondents did not support increasing sales tax to increase school and road funding. Only 43% answered yes to that question. Click the link for more poll details.

South Carolina Decriminalization Bill Filed. Rep. Mike Pitts (R-Laurens) has filed House Bill 3117, which would decriminalize the possession of up to an ounce of weed.

Medical Marijuana

Pediatricians Call for Rescheduling Marijuana, Say Compassionate Use for Children Okay. In a new policy statement, the American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending that the DEA reschedule marijuana to ease research on it. The influential medical society is also proposing that medical marijuana be made available on a compassionate basis for children with serious illnesses who have not benefited from other medicines. Click the policy statement link for more detail.

Georgia CBD Medical Marijuana Bill Filed. Rep. Allen Peake (R-Macon) today filed House Bill 1, which would allow the use of CBD cannabis oil for qualifying patients. He had earlier considered a bill that would allow marijuana to be grown in-state, but he removed that language after objections from Gov. Nathan Deal (R). Peake said he hopes a deal can be struck that will allow for cannabis oil to be imported to the state.

New Illinois Governor Stalling Medical Marijuana Licenses. Former Gov. Pat Quinn (D) left behind a list of companies poised to be granted medical marijuana business licenses, but incoming Gov. Bruce Rauner (R) is in no hurry. Now he wants to conduct “a thorough legal review of the process” used to choose licensees. Medical marijuana patients will have to continue to wait.

South Carolina Medical Marijuana Bill Filed. House Minority Leader J. Todd Rutherford (D-Columbia) and several cosponsors have filed House Bill 3140, which would allow qualifying patients to grow and possess limited amounts of marijuana. Last year, the legislature passed a CBD-only medical marijuana bill.

Wyoming Medical Marijuana Bill Killed in House. The House Judiciary Committee last Thursday killed a medical marijuana bill on a 5-4 vote. The bill was House Bill 78.

Drug Testing

Wisconsin Governor Won’t Fight Feds Over Food Stamp Drug Testing, But Will Seek Waiver. Gov. Scott Walker (R) had vowed to fight the Obama administration over requiring drug tests for food stamp recipients, but his forthcoming budget proposal now says he will seek waivers from the federal government. Federal law bars adding new eligibility requirements to the food stamp program.

Law Enforcement

Baby Bou Bou SWAT Raid Sparks Georgia Bill Regulating “No Knock” Raids. The May drug raid over a $50 meth sale that left a Georgia infant seriously injured by a flash bang grenade has sparked a reaction in the state legislature. Senate Bill 45, filed by Sen. Vincent Fort(D-Fulton County) this month, would require police to show probable cause that there is imminent potential for life endangerment or destruction of evidence if they knocked and declared their presence at a suspect’s door prior to arrest. A separate House Bill 56 would end unannounced arrests between 10pm and 6am, unless a judge specifically grants a warrant.


Ukraine Blocking Delivery of Opiate Maintenance Drugs to Rebel Regions. The Kiev government is effectively blockading the pro-Russia regions under control of rebels, including supplies of buphrenorphine and methadone. Russia has been delivering other medical supplies to the region, but not the opiate maintenance drugs, which are illegal in Russia. In Donetsk, the last 52 patients on buphrenorphine ran out earlier this month, and the dwindling supply of methadone will be gone by March 1. There are nearly 400 methadone patients in the region.


MLB Doping Scandal: How Random Drug Testing Can Affect Even The Best Of Us


Major League Baseball is set to suspend some 20 players in the coming weeks due to a scandal involving performance-enhancing drugs in what may be the worst drug abuse case in the history of the sport.

The case first began in January when a Florida newspaper leveled doping allegations against baseball’s highest-paid player, New York Yankee Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez. The newspaper reported that the shortstop and third baseman had acquired the drugs from a Miami anti-aging clinic called “Biogenesis” whose owner Anthony Bosch allegedly supplied baseball players with the performance-enhancing substances.

After the allegations, random drug testing performed on the players showed that Milwaukee Brewers’ Ryan Braun also had unusually high levels of testosterone, but his suspension was overturned.

Both athletes have denied using performance-enhancing drugs, or PEDs.

With Anthony Bosch now working with MLB officials, his information is set to bring suspensions against some 20 players, with MLB considering suspending players in violation of 100 games if they lied about their usage and 50 if it is a first offense.

With frequent drug testing performed by the MLB, the charges against some of their most valuable players comes as a surprise; mostly because a majority of the players alleged to be using performance-enhancing drugs, never tested positive for using.

While the charges are unfortunate, many fans and observers are wondering if athletes are using drug detoxes to allow a false negative to show up on their urine samples. If the charges are true, how could so many players go undetected with PEDs in their systems? Drug detoxes allow an individual to pass a drug test with as little as one hour’s notice, and continue to test clean for six hours. If an MLB team was selected for the random drug testing, by having players who were using, provide their urine sample last, the chances of players succeeding in passing off a false negative would be significant. All speculation of course, but the athletes were providing false negatives somehow, with more information on the case sure to become public as Anthony Bosch provides more information.

Nelson Cruz, Melky Cabrera, Francisco Cervelli and Bartolo Colon have all been linked to Biogenisis with the remaining athletes in question still unidentified.

Pass A Drug Test In An Hour




Volunteering a urine sample for employment or legal reasons can sometimes happen with little to no notice. Usually done to try and catch individuals as is, there is a way to pass a drug test with only an hour’s notice. By keeping a drug detox in your wallet or purse, you can be ready for a random drug test and be confident in passing.

The only safe bet to pass a drug test on little to no notice is using a drug detox. Unlike synthetic urine that’s detectable, not reliable, and can be punishable for tampering with evidence, drug detoxes are convenient, undetectable, and require no tampering with your urine sample.

Drug detoxes work by consuming a top same-day cleanser that works to provide a strong level of toxin removal that clears out all traces of recreational drug use. Once taken, in as little as an hour, any urine sample provided will show as though you’re clean, and will therefore test negative. Ideal for situations where you may have to provide your sample in the presence of a test collection site worker, there is no need to worry about trying to cheat or diluting a sample. Drug detoxes continue to allow individual’s to test clean for a six hour window after consumption, and can be beneficial if you’re not exactly sure when the test will be required of you on a urine sample day.

Using a drug detox is straightforward and is 100% guaranteed. Trying a sample at home and giving yourself a drug test can reassure any worries about how effective the cleansers are. If you are in a situation where you may be subject to random drug testing for employment or legal reasons, keeping a drug detox close at hand can help you to enjoy your recreational activities without any worries about testing positive.

Michigan Senator Wants Random Drug Testing For Elected Officials

elected drug test


According to Democratic Senator Bert Johnson, if Michigan wants to test welfare recipients for drug and alcohol abuse, it should do the same for elected officials. Under the assumption that the state holds its legislators to the same standards as its citizens, the request likely won’t make it to state legislature, but it is worth addressing.

Elected party officials, appointees and otherwise have been linked to drug and alcohol abuse in the past, most recently Treasurer Andy Dillion who reportedly spent five days in January at an addiction treatment center at Brighton Hospital after several years of heavy drinking. State Senator Anthony Galucio of Massachusetts their State Representative Mar J. Carron and Rhode Island State Representative Daniel P. Gordon all famously were convicted of DUI in the past three years, with South Carolina State Treasurer Thomas Ravenel convicted of cocaine charges. Drug and alcohol abuse can affect anyone regardless of one’s employment.

Drug testing in order to receive welfare benefits is currently becoming approved by a majority of state legislations, with the measure now heading to the Senate where it’s likely to advance in many states, including Michigan.

According to the legislation, if there is a “reasonable suspicion” a welfare recipient is using illegal substances, that person would be required to submit and pass a drug test. People who test positive for drugs the first time would be referred to a substance abuse treatment center that they must pay for out-of-pocket, with any positive subsequent times or drops out of treatment resulting in their family benefits being stripped.

With the measure passing through in many states, under the assumption that the public’s tax money should not fund the war on drugs, at what point should the measure be extended, like Senator Bert Johnson suggests, to public officials and appointees?

There are a variety of products that help aid drug and alcohol users to test clean for a variety of drug tests ranging from urine samples, to hair follicle samples and even salvia and blood tests. While reasonably priced, many elected officials may have a better chance of obtaining an aid to help them pass a drug test than their low-income neighboring citizens who depend on welfare to get by.

As opponents of the welfare drug testing claim it’s not to help users find treatment, but a punitive attack on low-income individuals, it will be interesting to wait and see if the measure ever extends past low-income individuals, to all tax-paid individuals including elected officials, and if so, if that measure would ever pass as easily as now.



Why Are So Many UFC Fighters Failing Drug Tests?




UFC is one of the few sports that do not implement year-round random drug testing. With over 475 contracted fighters, UFC commissioner Dana White is fearful of drug testing, over statistics that more than 80% of them might wind up being suspended.

While steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs are of concern, the main reason for failed drug tests is not what you may think.

“Forget about PEDs,” White said. “If we get into this system that we’re talking about where we would randomly test these guys, do you know how many guys would probably test positive for marijuana? It would be probably off the charts.”

In a sport where fighters train for months ahead of time, if an athlete becomes suspended, fights often get canceled. UFC fighters need to learn their opponents strengths, weaknesses, and make weight in addition to often holding a job elsewhere. This is one of the reasons that test results from random drug testings, usually are not made known until at least a week later, to keep the fans happy and keep a fight in place, no matter how unfair the fight is.

As of current, the UFC lets matches be regulated in the U.S. by the state athletic commissions where the events are held. In Canada, the provincial governments regulate them. In parts of the world where there are no commissions, the UFC appoints Marc Ratner, its vice president of regulatory affairs, to regulate the shows and test the fighters.

Even without year-round random drug testing, the amounts of fighters who are failing drug tests are outlandish.

In the past few months, over twenty fighters have tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs and other illegal or illegal use drugs.

Stephan Bonnar, or “The American Psycho” was found to have used steroids in UFC 153 against Anderson Silva. The following fight, in UFC 153, Dave Herman tested positive for marijuana as well as Thiago Silva, Alex Caceres and Matt Riddle within a short period. The list continues with Joey Beltran, Rousimar Palhares, Thiago Tavares and Lavar Johnson all testing positive for performance enhancing drugs. The list is long, but as three main UFC fighters including Pat Healy have all had failed drug tests become public this week, the attention on UFC and drugs within the sport is at an all time high.

The main issue may be that many fighters don’t think there’s anything wrong with marijuana use in UFC, and are openly against penalties against it. Sure, Floyd Mayweather Jr. and a few others are actively urging for more frequent drug tests, but the list of those who oppose is significant. UFC Commissioner Dana White is against frequent drug testing, and doesn’t think marijuana should carry the same suspension as performance-enhancing drugs like steroids and testosterone transfers. Others feel the need to take laxatives in order to make weight, but don’t consider it a crime, as their fighting abilities are the same. Whatever the case is for and against drug use in UFC, at some point, one has to wonder why fighters don’t try covering up their tracks more significantly?

Pat Healy lost at least $135,000 on May 15 2013 after he tested positive for marijuana following his recent victory over Jim Miller at UFC 159. J’Leon Love also had news of his failed drug test become public on May 15th, where he faces at least a $30,000 penalty streaming from his $100,000 win against Gabriel Rosado. With the financial gain as significant as it is, and the risk of being labeled a cheater, devastating to any fighter’s career, the risk of being given a drug test and failing comes with serious consequences.

The main common drug concealer that UFC fighters use is Hydrochlorothiazide that can cover up the use of steroids and other performance-enhancement drugs. The unfortunate part is Hydrochlorothiazide is on the list of banned diuretics and while it may not show all the drugs consumed, the suspension and fines are the same.

If UFC fighters switched to taking natural detoxes, it would allow them a better chance of making weight before a fight, and any drugs in their system would be removed, allowing them to test clean for up to six hours after consuming the detox. Fighters who believe the use of marijuana should be allowed in UFC could do so, and the commissioners wouldn’t be able to find the drug in their system. If an athlete was using steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs for training purposes, the detox would allow them to fight fair and test clean. Without having to worry about the increasingly prominent random-drug testing’s that are performed, being called a cheater, or being kicked out of UFC for good, it’s fascinating that more fighters are not already using natural drug detoxes. Or are they?



Not Worth The Risk; Using Fake Urine















There are a variety of ways individuals try to cheat the drug testing system, most notably using synthetic urine. Using fake urine has long been linked to drug testing through pop culture and supposed stories of success. Through time and medical advances however, any chance of passing a drug test using synthetic urine are slim to none. New technologies in the drug testing field are specifically made to flag synthetic urine that makes it almost, if not entirely impossible to fake a clean test.

When an individual takes a drug test, the collected urine is split into two equal aliquots. The first half of the sample is screened for drugs using an analyzer, typically the SAMHSA 5 panel, and will flag any discrepancies even if they’re not drug related such as temperature and water content. This part of the test can bust synthetic urine users almost instantly. Synthetic urine may appear to pass visually due to being the right color and amount of liquid, but professionals that work with urine samples on a daily basis are more than just aware on synthetic urine and know how to spot a fake when they see one. Urine samples should be between 94 and 100 degrees if taken on-location, and if an individual urinates and immediately has it collected after, it should still be relatively hot. When using fake urine however, the liquid will either be your outside body temperature, or room temperature, making it significantly colder than a natural sample should be. Companies suggest heating the synthetic urine beforehand, but the chances of heating the urine somewhere, going to an on-site location, and the time it takes to finally provide a sample, the chances of the synthetic urine remaining the proper temperature is slim to none.  When this happens, the sample is thrown out and the individual is asked to complete the drug test again, most often in the presence of a supervisor.

On top of that, while synthetic urine may pass drugstore drug tests, many professional grade tests taken for pre-employment or probation purposes can actually test for individuality and can tell if a urine sample matches one of the leading brands for synthetic urine. American Toxicology is one such brand that can test for brands such as Quick Fix, and can test if a sample is substituted and therefore not human specimen.

The risks involved in using synthetic urine just are not worth it. Using synthetic urine is considered tampering with evidence, and is a crime and punishable offense, one in which most judges will take seriously for those who are already known offenders, on parole, and on probation. For pre-employment tests, those individuals will most likely not get the job, and companies that screen employees regularly, can have employees lose their jobs upon being caught.

Those who want to test clean without breaking the law should stay away from synthetic urine, and rather go a more natural and safe way. There are one-hour drug detoxes on the market that allow for an individual to test clean in 60 minutes after consuming a detox, and will be able to test clean for six hours following.

In using a detox rather than synthetic urine, your sample is the real deal, and therefore you won’t need to worry about it being the wrong temperature or showing up as not a human specimen. Furthermore, depending on your situation, if you need to provide a sample while in the presence of another supervisor, there isn’t any worry about trying to sneak a fake sample into your cup or being caught with the illegal substitute.




Mandatory Drug Testing For Welfare & Unemployment Pay; What It Means For You.

Drug Testing for Welfare

Throughout America, many states either have bills currently moving through state legislatures or have passed in senate a new reform that ties welfare benefits to mandatory drug testing. Some states are going a step further, requiring drug tests for unemployment recipients as well.


The arguments invoked by legislators looking to integrate mandatory drug testing for unemployment and/or welfare is to prevent taxpayer money from being used to purchase illegal drugs. The argument assumes that welfare recipients purchase and consume illegal substances at a higher percentage than the general population.


Whether the assumptions are true or not, as states take on the battle of mandatory drug testing, here’s what it could mean for you if you currently receive welfare or unemployment pay and would like to continue doing so should the measures pass in your state.


Measures will vary slightly in each state, but generally speaking if implemented, applicants would need to fill out a short survey on their drug use, if any and provide a urine sample on location. If an applicant’s drug test comes back as clean, they can receive their payments as usual, so long as their children stay actively enrolled in school (if applicable) and participate in a work-training program. Applicants who test positive for drugs would be provided several resources, none of which would be funded by the state department, such as substance abuse programs and 12-step groups to get clean so they can reapply. Those who can provide evidence of treatment can get six months of welfare benefits and then be reinstated. They would permanently lose benefits if they fail the test. Depending on your state, applicants may need to pay for their own drug tests which can range from $25-$50 and then be reimbursed if their test comes back negative.


Florida instated drug-testing laws back in 2010 causing temporary assistance approvals to drop from 8,495 in September 2010 to 4,586 in September 2011, before a judge stopped the program on constitutional grounds. Despite the testing ending in Florida many states have found the results to be promising for their own states, and are moving forward. We’ll just have to wait and see what the results are this time around.


If you are concerned about losing your benefits through failing a drug test, should the measure become instated in your local area, there’s help for passing a drug test, even if you’re not necessarily clean. The most beneficial in this case would be the 1-hour detox, which can help your results show that you’re clean for six hours and starts working in 60 minutes. There are other options out there as well, ranging from shampoos for hair tests, and help for blood and saliva tests.

How to pass drug test in 2 weeks or less—Yes We Can!

pass a drug test in 2 weeks or lessWell, you still have to pass a drug test if you are in the majority group of Americans who work for medium to large-sized businesses that require either urine or hair drug tests as part of pre-employment or as a random drug testing practice.

Please note that most random drug tests conducted by employers are done by way of urinalysis. But let’s talks about both and how you can pass a drug test in 2 weeks or less, regardless of the type of drug test it is.

For hair drug testing, it’s pretty simple to pass a hair follicle drug test. All you’ll need is Two Steps A’Head shampoo and conditioner. My biggest piece of advice here is to (for god’s sake!) follow the directions. The biggest pitfalls with any detox products is that people who buy them (well, the good detox products anyway) don’t follow instructions. So don’t waste your money—FOLLOW DIRECTIONS! So that’s pretty straightforward and simple.

As for those facing a urine drug test, a permanent detox product will do the trick in just three to five days, so that two week mark you’re trying to stay under, well, problem solved. You can grab a permanent detox that clears your system of all toxins and residues in less than a week from

Done and done!

Good luck everyone, and as always, you can come ask questions privately at my Drug Test Dave Facebook page by clicking here and inboxing me.


Permanent Detox Products Work, Stop Scooping Pee Out of the Toilet for the Love of God!

detox products dont use urine from the toilet to pass a drug test

You haz no bidniss in here!

I gotta love checking my WordPress stats to see what search keywords people are using that wind them up on my site. I was astonished enough to spit coffee across my computer screen when the search term “get urine out of toilet drug test” was searched 15 times.

People, please do not start ladling urine out of toilets to pass a drug test, mmkay? I know, I know, you’re in desperate need, but there’s desperation, and there’s stuff that doesn’t work no matter how desperate you are. Hijacking your babymama’s weewee from the can is not a well thought out way to try to pass a drug test.

Number one, urine that’s already in the bowl (all puns intended, sorry) has water mixed in with it, and also any chemicals the toilet itself contains, like cleaners, those SuperFlush2000 tablet thingies, bleach, and good god only knows what else (I shudder to think.)

The national freakout over drug testing needs to chill. It’s SO easy to pass a drug test! All you need a is a permanent detox product that removes all the toxins from your body—THAT IS IT! The permanent detox kit from does it in three days! (read: yes, you will have to drink some water, put the Mountain Dew down for a sec, and consider eating something other than pizza for 72 whole hours.)

That’s it. Stop complicating it with plans to horde urine, or use synthetic garbage, or spike your pee with bleach—none of that crap works and it’s also against the rules to do it!

Grab a permanent detox, follow the instructions, take your drug test, and then go watch True Blood with your girlfriend and relax.



Why is it legal to drug test me?

detox products that work to pass a drug testWell, for starters, no matter how much we hate it, it is still illegal to use marijuana according to federal law, regardless of what those brash and brazen states like Washington and Colorado are doing, those crazy zeitgeists!

Yes, it is still legal to be drug tested because those who have the power to employ don’t have to honor the Fourth Amendment (don’t get me started) and they are allowed to ensure that you can pass a drug test before they decide whether or not they want to hire you.

A great deal of confusion comes into play when considering that even in states where it is legal to use marijuana medicinally or even legal to use marijuana recreationally, employers still maintain the right to require employees to pass a drug test before they can begin working for the company. Likewise, it is also legal in these states for employers to ask employees for samples in a random drug testing, either on-site (usually with the assistance of a mobile drug testing facility) or by having employees go to a drug testing lab.

“I don’t see how it’s fair. The state and my doc say I can smoke weed for my condition but it still keeps me from getting most jobs that are out there,” says Jeremiah Foster of Colorado Springs, CO. While his point may be a valid one, the current challenges that employees face require knowing how to pass a drug test—whether that means abstention, body cleansing and exercise, or using a rapid detox kit to ensure that drug test results come out with the desired results for American workers.

Passing a Drug Test for Medicinal Marijuana: Doc Says it’s Ok, Employer Says No to Drugs

pass a drug test medicinal marijuana drug test for employer

Can you pass a drug test? Ugh, I hope so buddy.

If you are a medicinal marijuana user, you likely have a medicinal marijuana card, and a prescription from a doctor to take said marijuana as he or she prescribes it. But that won’t mean a thing to some employers. Sadly, even where it is completely and totally legal for you to have a prescription for marijuana, smoke marijuana, and use marijuana for medicinal purposes, those who have the power to employ can still “say no to drugs.”

Why? Because employers are allowed to have their own set of guidelines subset from the law, making, sort of, their own law within the governance of their organization.

While its unlawful for them to say, for example. require everyone to be a gun owner, or for everyone to be a Republican (or Democrat, you get the idea), they are still well within their rights to force people to pass a drug test for pre-employment, as well as ensure that the employees they already have can pass a random drug test.

BUT (and this is a big but) employers can’t just drug test you willy-nilly. In order for an employer to randomly drug test you, it has to be set forth from day one as a part of their rules and regulations that you could be subject to a random drug test—this kind of info loves to hide out in employee handbooks and that fun packet of info you get the day you start your job, so make damn sure you lurk through all those materials so you can be prepared to pass a drug test anytime you have to with a same day detox kit, right there on the spot!

That’s it for now kiddos. Meet me at the drug testing forum on for more from me if you need it.


How to pass a drug test to get a job

pass a drug test to get a jobThis is probably the quintessential topic I get asked about across all pass a drug test forums, online, on Facebook, and on the street, sometimes even when I’m in line just trying to get a soy latte. “Dave, how can I pass a drug test for a new job?”

It’s like listening to the same top 40 song over and over. Nonetheless, my pretties, I will answer here, and once I have, you can use this post as a reference for future questions about how to pass any drug test.

First up, we have the classic: the urine drug test. The simplest way I know how to pass a urine test is to a) abstain completely, followed by b) cleanse your body with a permanent detox kit, followed by c) strenuous exercise BUT only until the 48 hours before the urine test. You don’t want to be burning fat any closer to the test than that because then you’re re-releasing any residual THC back into your bloodstream (because THC lives in your fat stores.)

Next, seemingly today’s employers’ new fav: the hair follicle drug test. This one is pretty simple to pass, but you have to listen to my advice. a) don’t use household bleach guys, seriously. It just burns the hell out of your scalp and does nothing but damage your hair, while still leaving behind the toxins and residues that will have you failing your drug test anyway. b) DO use a drug test shampoo, and if you can find a hair drug test shampoo and conditioner, even better.

For you hardcore, longterm, heavy users, there’s only one way my friends. And that is TOTAL abstention coupled with a COMPLETE and permanent body cleanse. The only one I know of that works and doesn’t use BS masking agents and adulterants is the permanent detox from

And that’s all she (he) wrote! BAM! Now go tell your friends and keep them from singeing their hair or using synthetic urine, which yes, is still illegal.



How to pass a drug test when you’re testing positive: OTC Medications

over the counter meds that cause false positive on drug tests

I am an OTC. I could cause you to fail a drug test :(

A lot of people know that over the counter medications (OTCs) can cause a false positive on a drug test, but there are also a lot of myths out there about which ones really do. Even still, you need to have a good reason to be tested for some OTCs, even if you can get them without a prescription, because the amount of them you’d often have to take in order for them to cause a false positive would be… a whole lot.

Of the most common drugs mistaken for marijuana when trying to pass a drug test, NSAIDs like ibuprofen, but stronger, are the cause. According to, proton pump inhibitors are also the cause of positive THC drug tests for many people who have never touched marijuana in their lives, and proving that this is the cause is often a pyric victory, as employers and prospective employers only take the time to get the results of a drug test from a lab, and won’t even contact a potential employee after results have come in to question why they may have tested positive for THC. And even if they did, most people on the hunt for a job are not likely to know that their medication (prescribed by a doctor or over the counter) is causing the positive THC result of their urinalysis.

In addition to those trying to pass a drug test while on completely legitimate and harmless medications like Naproxen, others who have a legal prescription for medicinal marijuana are in the same, or perhaps an even worse boat. Why? Because even when a doctor approves and prescribes marijuana to a legal medicinal marijuana card holder, companies have the right to deny employment based on a positive drug test for THC. While this may not seem fair to some, many employers feel that passing a drug test is a primary and essential part of employment which they deem not just necessary, but a way of protecting themselves against hiring people who may not show up for work, or who may perform below the bar when compared to their non-marijuana-prescribed counterparts.

According to the Oxford Journals, in addition to some NSAIDs and medicinal marijuana, medicines for nausea such as Marinol and Drobinal, as well as the drug Sustiva (generally prescribed to AIDS patients) can also be the cause of false positives on a marijuana drug test.

To pass a drug test for any of these, be sure to do a full body cleanse with the direction of a doctor, or for those who feel comfortable disclosing the use of these medications to potential employers, let them know ahead of time so no surprises pop up at the lab.

Are things getting any better? Pass A Drug Test in 2013. Yes, YOU still have to

cubicle worker pass a drug testUnless you’re a driver or a CIA agent, I don’t understand our nation’s position on drug testing. If you’re sitting in a cubicle all day, what’s the use? Who are you bothering? Especially if it’s medicinal? Having to pass a drug test for any reason can be stressful, even if we have no reason to question ourselves.

For those of you facing urine drug tests for employment especially, there are a lot of questions bouncing around without clear answers about when and how employees in certain states can be lawfully tested for drug use.

It is a common misconception that a drug test won’t apply to someone who has a legal prescription for marijuana for medicinal purposes from a doctor. Unfortunately, employers are under no obligation to agree with the law, even when the laws in any given state suggest that medicinal marijuana is legal and prescriptions are also legal. An employer has the right to go by their own internal set of guidelines and request that any employee or person in the pre-employment process pass a drug test to obtain or keep their job.

In some cases, especially with random drug testing after hire, employees feel they are being singled out. This is a common occurrence, and legal professionals will suggest that if it seems like more than mild paranoia and other coworkers seem to notice one person being “randomly” drug tested more often than others, that person may have a legal claim on their hands.

To be sure, no one can be forced to pass a drug test for employment, though they are more stringent regulations for drug testing applicants in safety related fields and in the transportation industry.

With legalization of recreational marijuana now a reality, a lot of the rules aboutpassing a drug test in 2013 may seem like they have already changed, or will be changing soon. But because employers still hold the right to require a passing urine sample or hair drug test, what has happened in the realm of legalization scarcely matters. At least for the time being.

Still have to pass a drug test in AZ, even though there’s a new dispensary in Glendale!

az dispensary

Courtesy of New Times

Today the very first marijuana dispensary has opened in Glendale, Arizona, according, which reports that the downtown location comes as a much welcomed addition to the area “two years after voters approved an initiative to legalize the drug for certain ill patients.”

With a line of local medical marijuana patients who welcomed the long-awaited dispensary with open arms, it was noted by passers-by that fears of the location “wreaking of pot” were completely dispelled, making for a more or less copacetic grand opening for the new marijuana dispensary.

But now that things have gone well to begin what was thought to have been a rocky road for such a red state, now locals have to be wondering what this new level of freedom inArizona will mean for having to pass a drug test with local businesses who until now have been as much proponents for drug testing as businesses anywhere else in some of the most conservative parts of the US.

“I have to believe there will be a trickle-down effect after more places like that one in Glendale opened,” says Randy Cyr, a local Phoenix area employer, adding, “How can we continue to be so strict on something that people are legally allowed to get from their doctor?” While Cyr may not be considering the legal implications for the newfoundmedical marijuana freedom on the federal level (meaning marijuana patients don’t technically have the right to use pot legally for any reason with regard to federal law) he may be on to something when it comes to a little more leeway for those currently looking for work who fear having to pass a drug test for their medical marijuana use.

But for those concerned about a little too much leniency with regard to marijuana in Arizona, according to the Arizona Republic, they should not be concerned—it reports, “Most of the marijuana is kept locked out of sight. Dispensary workers must verify the validity of patient’s cards before the patient can pass through a locked steel door to a room where they can view 1-gram samples of strains such as J1, OG Kush, Romulan and Purple Urkle.”

Knowing how to pass a drug test is probably still something that Arizona medical marijuana patients will still need to know how to do, at least for the time being. But many are hopeful that at least in most retail and manufacturing industries, the stringency with which these tests are currently approached will fall away in time.


Happy New Year! Pee in this cup please… How to pass a drug test 2013

how to pass a drug test happy new year 2013Well, it’s the end of another awesome, jaw-dropping year.

And come January 2, 2013, it will be the beginning of a whole new round of random drug testing events at post-office party cubicles all across the country. And yes, that means you too, Washington state and Colorado residents–because drug testing for marijuana is trending UPWARD in your sleepy pot-soaked havens. Why? Because companies headquartered out-of-state have every right to can your behind, what with marijuana still being illegal on the federal level.

So, everybody, back to the drawing board. But hey, the good news is that in the New Year, you won’t have any drawing to do. Just hop over to the same trusted, reliable source for detox products to pass any drug test. Yep, I gotta plug Old Faithful herself, Why?

Because listen. I’ve been pounding the pavement talking to you guys and gals all year on Facebook, on Twitter, on‘s kickass drug testing forums, and well, the fact truth is, those of you who detox using anything else other than good old fashioned waiting around are NOT passing your drug tests!

Stop fighting it. You want to smoke, heck, your local governments even want you to have that right (for the most part, sigh.) But for some reason, blame it on habit or how they were raised, your employers still want you to be able to pass a random drug test.

Call it kismet, but you landed on my blog for a reason. I’m gonna say it’s cuz you’re probably looking for a way to pass a drug test in 2013. So let’s get to business. Pass your drug test. Hit me up on Twitter @DrugTestDave.

See you next year friends!


Random Drug Tests are not like Pop Quizzes for Teachers

pass random drug testWell, some parents recently got upset because a teacher, Wesley Adam Hayes, of Madison County, TN was found to be in possession of a whole lotta methamphetamines. I can sure understand that–if my kids were in his class I would be a little more than peaved too.

But what’s happening now is sad–parents and school board members are taking this witch hunt to its next logical progression… which is unfortunately to assume that all teachers in the district are guilty until proven innocent, not the other way around.

Here’s the deal. Methamphetamine is a serious drug and a dangerous one, and no one wants their kids exposed to it. But to be fair guys, let’s be real: most people out there educating children across the US are not doing or peddling meth, and to assume so is a rather slippery slope.

So what’s up for grabs right now in Madison County is an idea that seems new to residents there, but what we here at Drug Test Dave‘s forum know doesn’t really solve any problems: random drug testing for teachers.

It was only a few weeks ago in another part of the country that a teacher fought and won her suit against the district that forced her to pass a random drug test–and when she didn’t do it the first time, they were forced to reinstate her, then they water tortured her with 11 random drug tests in less than a year… and she’s filed suit again, and it looks like she will win.

Random drug tests don’t really prove anything, and in the world of educators, there are better courses of action–like better pre-employment drug testing, better interview processes, and of course, better background checks on the people who will be spending eight hours a day with our kids!

Come on now people! :)

“You’re Welcome,” Says Annie Dookhan

how to pass any drug test

"You're Welcome." -Annie Dookhan

Well, in case you haven’t heard about the latest scandal involving the drug lab chemist Annie Dookhan, welcome to the news cycle.

On Friday, Annie was charged for obstruction of justice (yikes!) because she has allegedly been spending some time playing games with people’s urine drug test samples.

On the downside for those of us on the outside of the big house? Many of the people whose samples were tampered with might now be cut loose from the can–the fed can’t hold them in if their lawyers can pony up evidence that Dookhan so much as touched their samples at any point during the chain of custody.

So, good news for those who failed their drug tests and wound up behind bars–welcome home guys!

But on a serious note, this does bring up an important issue that I hear about on the drug testing forums from time to time. Some people who have to pass a drug test think they have a friend on the inside–a lab tech that will look the other way on their urine sample, or even go as far as to help them cheat a drug test with fake pee. Remember folks, no one is going to put their job on the line for a total stranger in this economy, no matter how cute you are. And what’s more, lab techs won’t just lose their jobs, they’ll face legal action just like Ms. Dookhan because tampering with weewee is kind of a big deal according to Uncle Sam.

So instead of wasting time getting in cahoots with the white coats, just order a quality detox product, clean out your system the natural way, and pass your drug test the same way you would normally.

You’re Welcome!


How to pass a drug test: The important facts for procrastinators

how to pass a drug test fast

Be good to your body if you have lots of time before a drug test. It will help you pass.

So you have a drug test… tomorrow. Yikes buddy. Well, I can’t give you awesome news about how to pass a drug test with zero notice, but there are a couple of things you can do and a couple of awesome detox products that you can keep on hand that will help you pass a drug test in an hour.

If you have the forethought to know you need to be able to pass a drug test at some point in the future, the biggest and best piece of advice I can give you is to pre-order the drug test solutions you will need ahead of time. They stay good for just about ever, and then you can store the bottled detox drink or cleansing tablets in your glovebox, your backpack, your locker at work, your mom’s house, whatever works for you.

It’s wise to spend the $30-$100 you will need to spend if you really want to know how to pass a drug test pretty much anytime, any place. That way, if you get a bomb dropped on you about a random drug test at work, you’ve got that puppy handy and ready to go–no muss, no fuss. Bam!

On the other hand, for those of you who do have plenty of time, I cannot tell you how many times I here from a few of you being just a little too nonchalant. “Hey Dave, I found out I have a drug test in a month, so I plan on quitting smoking in two weeks. What do you recommend?” What I recommend is that you ABSTAIN NOW and keep it that way until not just after you have taken the drug test, but after you know your employer has received the results and you know for sure that you are in the clear! Don’t mess with the great hand you have been given!

If you do have loads of time, be exercising, drinking lots of mixed fluids,ABSTAINING from THC, eating healthy, and go ahead and help yourself get ahead of the curve with a permanent detox or long term cleanse that will have you ready for the big day. These usually take about three to five days, sometimes ten days, to complete.

And that’s about all there is to that campers–buy your detox product ahead of time, use your time to learn how to pass a drug test wisely. Simple, really!

Drug Testing for Bath Salts Now Available. You’re Welcome Real Weed Smokers.

synthetic marijuana drug testing for bath saltsYa gotta love the Dennis Romero take on marijuana drug testing. If you’re not aware of what that is, basically, it means get your hands off my urine–unless you’d like to test it for synthetic marijuana. I have to say, as someone who detests drug testing and finds it to be an extremely invasive rape of American liberties, this is one place I have to say I’m not entirely against it. And here’s why…

Synthetic marijuana type drugs, also known as “bath salts” (I love that!) are extremely harmful when smoked or otherwise ingested, and the news reports we hear about people who have gotten into trouble (i.e. those who were lucky enough to have a bad day rather than a bad stroke caused by fake weed) detail the accounts of people losing their minds–car surfing naked at noon, found incoherent in a ditch with no concept of time or reality, and so on. It kinda sounds like the horror stories you’d hear about LSD or peyote in the Sixties–only for real.

So yeah, I’m for it. I think drug testing for fake pot is a justice to real pot and those of us who stick with the stuff that’s mellow, harmless, and should be legal because it’s helpful, not harmful. (Be ready for your urine drug test by the way–new statistics are showing employers who do random drug testing for pot are back on the rise. Ugh.)

In his LA Weekly blog, Romero writes, “Last month the Synthetic Drug Abuse Prevention Act went into effect from coast-to-coast. It bans these horrific drugs. For once we’re on the side of prohibition.” I couldn’t agree more. Romero adds, “Omega Laboraties announced this week that it can now test for synthetic pot (K2, Spice, et. al.) and the dreaded bath salts.  And it can do so through oral swabs. Wow.”

It’s pretty amazing how quickly they made that happen when you look at drug testing history as a whole. What’s interesting is that Omega’s CEO states that the company is in it for the public safety factor–not sure if I believe they’re doing it in the name of good samaritanism, but hey, if it helps keep more people from feeling and looking like they’re riding a psychotic horse toward a burning barn, I’m all for it.

But now it’s your turn–I want to hear from you guys. What do you think of drug testing for bath salts? Think it should be legal and part of what pre-employment drug tests check for? Tell me what you think.


Throw Casey Pachall a bone

Casey Pachall marijuana drug testing in schools

Does it matter? Really?

Good Lord. Here we go with the teetotaler mentality. American Puritanism is so far out of control these days–maybe it’s been re-energized by the Romney-Ryan campaign?

Casey Pachall, the starting quarterback for TCU has “admitted” that he smoked marijuana this one time back in February. According to USA Today, “TCU coach Gary Patterson said he was aware of Pachall testing positive Feb. 1. There was no indication if Pachall had or would be punished.” I mean really?

Patterson noted that he takes a very serious stance on student and athlete health and welfare. If that’s the case, maybe don’t send these boys out in the 100+ degree heat to practice on a belly full of red meat? Maybe extend caring about their welfare beyond football season? I mean, for reasons other than a drug bust.

In a hilarious scenario the Texas police are calling a drug bust and a sting operation, no less, Pachall and roommates were caught with marijuana and even (gasp) tested positive for THC. Coach stated, “”We are committed to helping them make healthy choices and have moved forward. We have had 25 drug tests in the last 18 months, including one by the NCAA at the Rose Bowl. We’ve had six drug tests since February.”

Wow. I thought I knew people who had it bad with one or two random drug tests at work every year. Does 25 drug tests for MARIJUANA — not cocaine or heroine, steroids or other performance enhancing drugs — seem a little excessive to you? Because to me it seems like utter madness and just like a little bit of a witch hunt.

But what else can you expect when it comes to Texas football during an election year when two Christians are running against an African American who actually admits he smoked pot… and inhaled?

I want to hear from you guys. University and other school drug testing policies are over the top and are becoming such an unbridled display of prejudice against marijuana smokers even over much heavier drug users.

Drug Testing for Welfare is Back in the News? Gah!!

how to pass a drug test for welfareWell, at least it seems like it may be in the news for a good reason–at least SOME people are making a stink about it, and I love what Ohio is doing–read on!

Drug testing for welfare and state assistance is a relatively new advent of the legal system in states like Florida and South Carolina, but even in the southern US where drug testing for welfare is more widely accepted than elsewhere in the country, opinions are still strong. The Anniston Star newspaper of Alabama reported on July 20, 2012 “State-sponsored drug testing was one of those ideas that gained traction quickly among those convinced that people on welfare are spending the money they get on illegal drugs.”

According to results reported by the paper, along with results reported by the Miami Herald, and New York Times have drawn the statistical and mathematical conclusion that these welfare drug tests save the states no money—not to mention the feelings of those who have to take the blood drug test to receive the benefits they need financially. Gary Montoya of Sarasota echoes opinions of other Florida natives: “I never did a drug in my life. Lost my job last year [be]cause of layoffs. Now I have to get stuck with a needle to prove it? Like I’m not already embarrassed enough taking money? Makes it feel like a handout. It hurts.”

For those who have to pass a drug test to receive benefits, the race seems to be on from one state to the next, despite the fact that drug testing for welfare measures are doing nothing for state revenues or savings. In addition, proponents of the bill could be overlooking where the money could be better spent—rehabilitating those who are using drugs so they can return to work and not have to depend on the state. On July 3, 2012,The Republic reported that the state of Ohio would be extending its use of Medicaid to include anti-narcotics treatment. Rather than forcing people to pass a drug test for welfare, Ohio is asking people to come forward with failed drug tests for the help that they need.

From one state to the next, rulings may currently be polarized, but during an election year, this kind of polarization is to be expected. Lawmaking may likely not become any easier, however, with opinions on welfare drug testing being what they are this close to November.

My “How to Pass A Drug Test Guide” has been revamped y’all!

How to pass a drug test don't use fake pee!, the decade-old source site for complete information on how to pass a drug test for pre-employment, random employment drug testing, and drug testing for students, has re-released its famous Guide to Passing a Drug Test with updated information for drug test takers facing the newest technologies being utilized by labs across the US today.

According to the Website principal, the change in the guide came about due to changes in the drug testing procedures done at laboratories, and in an effort to discourage drug test takers from using synthetic urine to pass a drug test. spokesperson Dave Dawkins stated, “Synthetic urine products worked at one time, but they are no longer an effective method for passing a drug test. And one thing that has always been true is that it’s illegal to use fake urine to pass any drug test anywhere, anytime. So we’ve refreshed the How to Pass A Drug Test guide to reflect the changes in technology in labs that will keep people from passing their drug tests if they opt to use fake urine. It’s illegal, it doesn’t work, so we’re really trying to usher people to an understanding that detoxing their bodies so they can safely and legally use their own clean urine to pass drug tests is the way to go.”

The updated guide includes information about gas chromatography and mass spectrometry (GC/MS), drug test detection times, what to do for exposure to second-hand smoke, which substances are detectable on urine drug tests, how false positives on drug tests can occur, how to detox for drug testing, and which urban myths about drug testing are false, including the use of goldenseal, aspirin, and an unfortunate new trend, the use of chlorine bleach to pass a drug test—a highly dangerous way to pass a drug test that Dave Dawkins has been combating on his drug test forum and blog for months.

Awesome PR–thanks to WebWire for that!

Detox for Your Health and Wellness, Not Just Your Boss

THC detox diet

Don't just cleanse for this guy!

Okay, okay, so all of us around here have our plan B set up and our “beat a drug test” routine down pat. But how many of us are detoxing for health and wellness? Show of hands please?


Guys and gals, it’s important for us to cleanse our bodies! The modern lifestyle has not been kind to us and our bodies, and a lot of us are smoking herb to relax at the end of the day to escape the physical pain, stress, and worry that exists in our lives because of our jobs. Knowing how to pass your drug test is great, but having to pass one at all is just another source of stress you face every day.

With fast food lunches, lack of working out, sitting in grey cubicles 40 plus hours a week, and not getting the vital nutrients it needs, your poor body has already taken one heck of a beating before you even lifted a joint or a drink to your mouth.

So do yourself and your body a favor and do a detox or permanent cleanse for the sake of your organs, tissues, and blood cells. Your liver and kidneys will thank you for the chance to detox for several days, and you will experience a marked difference in how well you feel, how well you sleep, how much pain you’re in (or NOT in) and how much you get out of recreational activity (note: once you’ve cleansed, you’re going to get a whole lot more bang for your buck!)

So don’t just detox for that person who holds your job in their hands–you should be working to live, not living to work–remember that! If the only reason you ever do anything good for yourself is because of your boss, well, that may be the new definition of crazy.

Slow down, clean up, feel better, and call in sick to go hiking! :)

MarketWire Reports Employee Drug Testing is Effective

pass random drug testYes, you read that title correctly, and based on the evidence provided, it is sadly true–drug testing–especially random drug testing at work–has been found to be an effective measure for employers who are trying to root out the demon of marijuana in their workplaces.

There are several layers to this situation, not the least of which is the issue that drug testing is unfair and actuarially unconstitutional (just read up on your Fourth Amendment rights.) But another issue that is probably considered a lot less frequently is, how many employees are getting the raw end of the deal because they simply aren’t using a method to pass a drug test? So many people are simply caught off guard by random drug testing, heck, that’s why the darn things are random! But people, you don’t have to fall victim to the system.

Rather than fighting the powers that be and exposing yourself to your boss (unless that’s something he or she is cool with) why not just learn how to beat the system until legislation finally changes things for the better? Sadly, this could still be more than a decade or more off–so why hold your breath? Learn how to survive in the dense, wild jungle we call random drug testing!

MarketWire tells us that a primary concern among employers is visible and marked intoxication while workers are on the job. Okay, fair enough–nobody wants the liability of a worker so faded that he or she could cause an accident. That’s not something I’m in favor of at all. All I’m suggesting is that for those of us who indulge off the clock, in a safe and private environment, and as long as our work and productivity does not suffer, then why the random drug testing?

If random drug testing absolutely must exist, it ought to be reserved for those who are under suspicion of engaging in on-the-job intoxication–not just any of us who the boss doesn’t like, or whose names come up in a “randomized list.” Those employees whose productivity is suffering, whose attendance is poor, who seem not to value communal goals and standards–that is who random drug testing had in mind when it was initially created. Why would ANY employer want to fire their top performers and best employees–for smoking a joint on Saturday night? I don’t find that very credible.

So if you happen to be one of those top performers, and you really don’t feel like losing your job for some stupid reason like failing a random drug test, then get yourself prepared with a way to pass a drug test that won’t fail you. If you have a solid job you want to keep and you happen to indulge in extra curricular activities, then having a same day cleanse for a random drug test on hand is absolutely essential! I “highly” suggest you grab one today and store it in your glove box, backpack, purse, or wherever else it is safe from “The Man.”

Good luck to all!

How to pass a drug test in 2 weeks?

how to pass my drug test fast

Stop watching the clock. You have plenty of time!

This has to be one of my favorite questions because it is actually easy to pass a drug test in two weeks–people outside of the detox and cleansing world just aren’t aware of that for the most part.

Listen, if you have two weeks or more before your drug test at a lab, you’re golden (please excuse the play on words.) Most of the people who are unable to pass their tests are in such a predicament because time is not on their side. And when I say not on their side, I’m talking about finding out about a pre-employment drug test a day beforehand, or finding out about a random drug test at work just moments or hours before. It’s scary, it’s stressful, and it’s not fair.

So for those of you wringing your hands while you have 14 days or more to prepare, chill Winston! It’s going to be fine–in the world of drug testing, two weeks is a lifetime of prep time.

What you will need to do is determine what kind of a user best describes you, and this will vary a lot. For example, the guy who has been smoking every single day for five years will need to take a different approach than the girl who hasn’t smoked since 1996 but shared a few  joints with friends last Saturday night.

If you’re just completely lost and know you want to detox your way to a passing drug test, then call for help–the worst thing you can do when you don’t know your way around passing a drug test is to guesstimate. Dial up the pros at at 1-877-254-1347 and ask them what they recommend. They will ask you a bunch of questions about your weight, height, usage levels, and so on and determine which product or products for passing a drug test will work the best for you given your personal details.

With more than just a few days to get things squared away, you will be able to take the time needed to do a permanent cleanse, which is the most effective because it helps your body churn out all of the toxins lurking in there that make you fail a drug test rather than just doing a presto-change-o smoke and mirrors drug test passing trick. So many labs these days are testing for adulterants–it’s really not smart to try to hide drug use, it’s a way better call to truly flush the toxins from your system so you don’t have to worry about what could crop up.

Well, good luck drug test takers, my thoughts are with you all. Let me know if you have any questions by visiting me on in the drug testing forum.


I ate pot brownies and now I have a drug test! SOS DrugTestDave!!!

how to pass a drug test after eating pot brownies

Num num! Now what?

For some reason, I am getting a lot more questions lately having to do with edibles, mostly how to pass a drug test after eating pot brownies. Edibles seem to be the rockstar of the cannabis scene these days. A lot of proponents say it’s because you Millenials just don’t like to smoke stuff. Well, good for you for trying to take better care of your bods… but you still have to be able to pass a drug test. Knowing is half the battle, right? So take a page from G.I. Joe and learn how to pass your drug test after eating pot brownies or other edibles. It ain’t no thang!

First things first guys. Like I always say about smoking, the golden rule of passing any drug test is taking an at-home urine test to see what turns up before the big day at the lab.

Depending on how your test turns out, you’ll know what to do from there–either dilute or cleanse based on what has worked for you in the past and based on what you’re comfortable with. But here’s the trick: Don’t assume that whatever your outcome with passing a test after smoking pot will be the same as your outcome after exposure to edibles. Smoking and eating are different physiological processes, and therefore hit you in different ways. In the same way that these two methods feel different, they cause different reactions for your body, and therefore don’t have the same clean-up time.

With that said, most people who indulge in edibles don’t do so as frequently as those who smoke, so as a general rule of thumb, those who ONLY eat will be able to pass a drug test faster. Given that those of us who smoke aren’t generally averse to edibles, the double dippers doing both kinds of consuming will need to work a little harder at getting clean, unless you plan to do a permanent cleanse before your drug test, you will want to make sure you have those highly coveted 30 days clean under your belt, and throwing in some rigorous exercise can’t hurt either.

Final words of wisdom: If you know you have to face random drug tests at work, stick with one method of consumption or another unless you plan on keeping a supply of same day detox kits for passing drug tests on hand. If you plan to dilute or in any way use our own urine to pass a drug test, make sure you keep an at-home drug test on hand and know your way around good quality drug test detox methods and/or you’re all practiced up on the classic dilution method.

Enjoy your edibles everyone. Man, they sure are tasty :)

Is 30 days enough to pass a drug test?

how long to pass a drug test

How long does it take to be able to pass a drug test?

If I had a nickel for every time I hear this question, I’d be the Donald Trump of the drug test Q&A world. Seriously. So you’re like, “Well then, what’s the answer?”

The answer is that 30 days is enough for some people and not nearly enough for others. Satisfied? I didn’t think so. :)

So why is the answer to this question so blurry and hard to figure out? Because we are all so different, that’s why. Basically, there are tons of contributing factors, including weight, metabolism, gender, illness and disease, and tons of other stuff too.

And that’s probably exactly why this question keeps coming my way. That and because there’s no way to post a comment to the entire planet that says “Everyone has to take an at-home drug test to know for sure if they will pass, okay world?”

The thing is, it doesn’t really matter all that much if you are the type that can pass a drug test in 30 days or not. If you know ahead of time by as little as two days, you can still very easily pass a drug test with a same day detox product, and if you have as little as five or seven days, you can very, very easily pass your drug test with a permanent cleanser like the one from and you’re done worrying about the age-old question about the 30-day mark.

It’s kinda like wondering how long it would take to lose that weight in your thighs when you have liposuction scheduled–who cares? If you have a simpler, easier, cheaper, faster way to pass a drug test at your fingertips like using a detox or a cleanser, why wonder if you would or would not be able to pass the drug test on your own in 30 days?

My recommendation is that everyone keep enjoying their lifestyle, stay prepared with a drug detox kit or dilution method, and go back to asking about whether or not a tree makes a sound when it falls in the woods (of course it does!)



The Drug Free Workplace is a White Collar Fabrication

Pass a drug test for a Drug Free WorkplacePoor Ohio employers in the manufacturing and industrial sectors. It’s been a rough couple of years with you being forced to turn away otherwise completely perfect job candidates due to their “drug abuse.” Based on new information from the Employers Resource Council for the Alcohol, Drug Addiction and Mental Health Services Board of Cuyahoga County, 47.5% of employers in manufacturing have just said no to qualified employees based on a failed or inconclusive drug test. In other industry sectors the percent is around 25–still staggering, but the difference is a real song, don’t you think?

So what is going on in this economy that is causing blue collar workers to fail drug tests so sharply where their white collar counterparts are able to pass any drug test so easily? That’s right. According to an article posted in the Newark Advocate this week, “For non-manufacturing businesses seeking a salaried employee, only 4 percent of businesses had a single positive test. In fact, 20 percent of all employers said they didn’t have anyone fail a test.”

Could it be that–in fact–there is absolutely no disparity whatsoever between these two groups of people and their level of drug use, but that one group can afford methods for passing a drug test while the other cannot?

Think about it. If you have been laid off from a blue collar job for 18 months or more, you don’t have a savings account, a 401(k), or a mutual fund to turn to. However, if you have been unemployed from a white collar job for the same amount of time, chances are, you received 3-12 months severance pay, an extension on your medical and dental care, and some kind of rollover option for your Roth IRA or 401(k). But you see, that entire last sentence is Greek to most of the country, and even though most of us know what it takes to get THC out of our systems for a drug test, many of us need a more affordable option because we can’t just drop money that was meant to be for dinner or our kid’s new shoes on a drug detox kit.

Luckily there are cheap ways to pass a drug test, but the problem is that most of blue collar America is not in the loop on this information! So spread the word and let’s close the gap between employable and not employable in Ohio for starters.

I know that much of my audience believes that smoking weed should not be considered a crime. But guys, for now it is, and so we have to protect ourselves well when it comes to employment drug testing and other fun things that fall into that category.

Protect yourself so no one can take away your job. Well, except for the economy. But that won’t be over a [literal] pissing contest!

Drug Testing for Welfare: If it doesn’t work, make sure you keep doing it anyway

pass a blood drug test

Who's really getting drained?

Well, the first state of our ever bright union to use drug testing for welfare was Florida. Despite massive financial and humanitarian failures, and in the face of clear strikes against constitutional rights, the sunshine state carries on, continuing to blood drug test welfare applicants.

“So what?” you say, “doesn’t sound unfair to me.” Well, it may not, and even if you don’t give a hoot about the constitutional or civil rights of those who have to take these blood drug tests, you probably do care about your rights as a taxpayer, and that’s a bug part of what’s wrong with this picture. That is to say, for those who fail the drug test performed by the state, they’re just out $30. For those who pass the drug test–which is about 98.5% of all those tested, the state reimburses them the $30. You take $30 and multiply it by the number of people testing and passing, roughly 200,000 since the inception of the program in Florida alone, and I’ll let you do the rest of the math problem. So whose “the state” whose paying? John Q. Public, that’s right, Johnny Taxpayer–YOU.

And now, according to the Boston Herald, “Oklahoma and Tennessee are the latest states about to require drug tests of those applying for welfare benefits.” And not surprisingly, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin says this is how taxpayers will keep from having to subsidize the drug using population that takes advantage of welfare and assistance programs to keep using. Yep, all two percent of them who can’t pass a drug test will be kept from abusing the tax payers–that’s the state’s job! So instead of forking over hundreds of dollars in assistance that may get misspent by a drug addict, people of the great states of Tennessee, Florida, and Oklahoma get to fork over hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars to reimburse the nearly 99% of welfare applicants who have to take these tests and pass with flying colors… because they’re not on drugs!

It’s 2012. And on another note, it’s time to stop arresting and charging people for criminal activity when all they’ve been up to is smoking a little pot. A shocking majority of those serving time in our prison system are there for drug related offenses–of those, 4 out of 5 are related to marijuana. So speaking of your rights as a tax payer, do you enjoy paying for three square meals a day and keeping the roof over incarcerated persons’ heads who could and should be home with their families? Do you suspect as I do that prisons are as much a part of the corporate American landscape as Walmart and McDonald’s? Did you know that the same company that owns the most lucrative hotel chains in the world is also the owner of most “for profit” prisons in the US? Yep. Remember that the next time you choose Marriott hotels.

Let me hear from all of you. I want to know what you think of drug testing for welfare and the fact that now 28 states have a bill in their congress for this cause. Do you think they should be passed into law or struck down?

For more information on how to pass a drug test for pre-employment or to learn how to pass a random drug test, please visit Best of luck to you ALL.


Stop Using Synthetic Urine, I’m Tired of Talking About How Often it Fails Drug Tests!

Synthetic urine that works

I mean, really? Come on guys...

Guys, guys, guys. If for no other reason than to save my sanity, please, stop using synthetic urine to try to pass a drug test. In the past  several days, more and more of you are complaining that fake pee just isn’t working.

For those of you new to the world of drug testing and awesome drug testing forums like, you are off the hook. But for those of you who for weeks, months, and years have been seeking advice, giving advice, reading and writing on such forums about the issues of how to pass a drug test, shame on you guys!

We know that QuickFix doesn’t work. Stop telling me the batch number, or which state you bought it in, or telling me that the stuff from Canada works while the stuff made in the US does not. NONE OF IT WORKS! Labs, especially Quest and Labcorp, are totally and completely on to QuickFix and other synthetics like it. All they have to do is a quick secondary screen and BAM, inconclusive “this ain’t human wee wee” results pop up left and right due to insufficient levels of creatinine, or wacky pH, or weirdo acidity that raises red flags.

So do yourself a favor. If you are considering subbing urine to pass a drug test, please don’t. I’ve kinda had it. If you want to pass a drug test and you have more than three seconds to prepare (another thing I need to blog about, if you have five days, use them, don’t message me the night before the test when you’ve known about it for five days! Come on!) then go get a permanent cleanser. Seriously, it could not be more simple. It’s so easy! Don’t fight against the current just because you need to be right–this is not the place to die on the sword because you have a need to “show us all.” Get cleansed, pass your drug test, then go invent a synthetic urine that actually works. Then you and I can have something worth talking about!


Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab is Back–Good, Bad, or Indifferent?

celebrity rehab pass a drug test

Season 6 begins May 2012

Well, Dr. Drew will be hitting the airwaves again with Celebrity Rehab, whether you like it or not. Most of you like it, and I have to say, when Dr. Drew is doling out some of his solemn wisdom on someone with serious drug addiction issues, it’s a nice change of pace from celebrating celebrity downfall on Jersey Shore, and so on.

But at this point, are we in some way celebrating the dysfunction of celebrity drug rehab and addiction to very dangerous drugs when we tune in to watch Dr. Drew on VH1? It’s a question I am asking in all earnestness.

Now I like Dr. Drew a lot, and feel that over the years he’s given young people answers that are real and grounded in reality rather than simple black and white/yes and no/not reality-based responses. But I still don’t agree with Dr. Pinski’s take on marijuana. Now, you’re saying, of course you don’t Dave, you’re Drug Test Dave! But it’s not quite that simple.

I’m not suggesting that even regular or daily pot smoking should be deemed acceptable or even normal, but the cut and dry “never ever” take on marijuana I think is dangerous and limiting. I mean, would Dr. Drew have the same feeling about marijuana if it were legal, regulated, taxed, and all that? Certainly he would deem it appropriate for someone without a drinking problem to have a glass of wine with dinner–but would he if it were illegal?

I guess my question boils down to, is it a matter of addiction, or in some cases, could it be considered a case of what our social mores allow for? If marijuana was 100% legal, would it then be acceptable in the doctor’s eyes to indulge responsibly, say after dinner or at a birthday celebration?

Maybe one day we will hear why people who share a spliff with neighbors at a barbecue have to pass a drug test while their drinking buddy counterparts won’t have to worry–even if they show up to work hung over from having alcohol mere hours before.

You all know that at the end of the day, I weigh injustice by who has to be able to pass a drug test and how often. Random alcohol screenings seem crazy, don’t they, nonsmoker population? :)

It’s all food for thought, and hopefully something we can hear from Dr. Drew about in this sixth season of Celebrity Rehab.

Get LIVE Chat Assistance to Pass a Drug Test on!

marijuana.comHey everyone,

Great news. The drug testing forums on are now better equipped than ever to help you pass a drug test. A team of drug testing experts has assembled to man the live chat station on MJ, which you can find among the forums on the Drug Testing Guide (You can click the “Pass A Drug Test” tab at the top of the navigation bar, or click here and bookmark.)

So what does this mean for you exactly? Well, it means that rather than just relying on peers who are in the same boat as you when it comes to facing a drug test, both you and your peers can turn to actual experts in drug testing solutions who can answer your questions with concrete data and professional opinions based on real experience from helping thousands of people pass a drug test.

This is a great turn of events for because so many of the questions people have at all times of day (and night) can now actually be answered rather than just simply speculated on.

So if you are a regular on the drug testing forums as so many of us are, then you now know where to turn in moments of crisis. These drug testing experts can enlighten you on how to pass a drug test fast, which cleansers and detox products are the best fit for you and your scenario, and all kinds of other things. They’re even equipped to walk you through how to use hair drug test shampoo so you don’t have to worry about your follicle drug test now either.

Check it out and ask your drug testing questions when you can so these experts can get their chops up with the MJ crowd and see how many people will actually be hitting them up on the regular for information on how to pass a drug test.

I’m excited about this development and hope everyone gets the most out of it. My main goal on these boards is for all of you to pass your drug test and wait by patiently and stress-free for the day when urine and hair drug tests are a thing of the past!



What Comes After 4/20? 4/21, That’s What!


The most dreaded day of the year!

Every year, those of us in the “smoking community” get together any way we can to celebrate 4/20. But what we seem to fatefully forget every single year is that 4/20 is always followed by… 4/21! Yep–this is known to be just about as much fun as 4/20 is for stoners, but for bosses instead. See, 4/21 is the worst day ever for those of use who don’t come to work prepared to pass a drug test.

This year, 4/21 falls on a Saturday, so most of us lucked out with a couple of extra days to detox before a “random” drug test (note the bunny ears please.) Nonetheless, every employer in the land will be very excited to pass out fun plastic cups with temperature stickers and lids out on Monday, 4/23. If you think this won’t apply to you, either a) think back to last year (oh yeah… crap!) or don’t be foolish enough to count your drug-free chickens before they hatch.

If you want to be able to pass a drug test after 4/20, just do what I do and start preparing with a detox product as soon as you can. If you know you will have more than three days on your side, you can opt for a permanent cleanse, which takes the average person about four days to complete. If you only have the one day (or less) to prepare, then you still have the very viable option of the same day detox, which you can use with as little as one hour on your side before you have to pee into the cup.

Make sure you have the detox product on hand for the big day, or if you don’t get it as soon as you possibly can, and let this be a lesson to you for next year crazy!

For those of you lucky enough to work for employers and bosses who don’t care about 4/20 and who don’t drug test (because they don’t even know what 4/20 is) please, don’t rub it in our faces–help us pass the drug test by standing by with the carb-loaded fast food and a sweet couch to post up on while we try not to expend any calories the day before the drug test!

And just like a public service announcement, it’s all about the more you know. So prepare right away by calling the team at so you can find out which product is best for your needs before you get in trouble rather than after.

Happy 4/20 to all, and here’s to all of us still having our jobs when the drug test results come back on 4/24!



How Long Before I Test Negative on a Drug Test?

pass your drug test

You've got this in the bag :)

As a drug forum moderator, this has to be the most common question I get asked. It seems like no matter how many times this question gets answered by extremely qualified posters on open forums about how to pass a test for marijuana, there is still an insatiable thirst for new answers all the time.

So here it is folks, drum roll please….

It’s different for every person and in every circumstance.

Sorry, I know that was probably extremely anticlimactic for most of you, but here’s the deal. You see, even since the last time you were tested for drugs, things have changed. Subtle differences in your diet, your weight, medications you started or stopped taking, hormone levels, stress levels, and a million other things I don’t have time to list here will all contribute to different results each and every time you take a drug test.

So how can we possibly prepare then Dave? What gives man!?

Here’s the deal. Because passing a drug test will be a different kind of challenge each time, you will need to always be prepared to be prepared–if that makes any sense. In other words, don’t wait until you find out you have to take a drug test to start scrambling for the solution. HAVE solutions on hand to pass a drug test, and then 99 percent of your issues will vanish into thin air.

For those of you who are on the job hunt, I have to tell you something you may not want to hear: You need to start abstaining as of right now, and do a permanent cleanse right away. After that, maintain a decent diet and quality exercise, and when the big day comes, you will pass your drug test with absolutely no issues whatsoever.

For those of you facing the dreaded random drug test and literally have no idea when it could rear its ugly head, be prepared by buying a same day detox solution and keeping that sucker on hand. Whether it’s in your glove box or your back pack, keep that baby nearby and ready for action because random drug testing is… very random and tailor made to take you by surprise.

Read all the instructions ahead of time so your not scampering around like a school girl with a secret when the boss hands you the peepee cup. Like a boy scout, you must always be prepared! And believe me, the preparation kills more stress than yoga my friend. Knowing that you’ve got this with ease and that you know exactly how to pass a drug test without issue brings about a sense of calm that makes it possible for you to actually have a shot at passing–and without having to engage in any of the crazy things you hear about online, like subbing urine with synthetic pee or your nephew’s urine, or drinking bleach, which of course I am wildly opposed to and don’t recommend for people or even roaches or lab rats even.

Do what I say and passing your drug test will be a walk in the park. It’s pretty simple… IF you make it that way.

Real Addiction and Why it Has Nothing to Do with Weed

how to pass any drug test

The American Dream

The modern US culture is fraut with serious drug addiction. I’m not talking about Reagan’s America where we’re looking for addicts slumped over in dirty hallways or emaciated wanderers looking for a vein. I’m not talking about the war on street drugs in which the target is clearly drawn across the crack peddler and the pusherman of 1970s urban culture. I’m talking about the pharmacy and the corporate machine that backs it, making real addiction seem like a natural side effect of having a decent way to deliver medicine to patients.

It’s not natural, and it’s not a side effect we should be okay with. And so we turn to Edie Falco, who has portrayed Nurse Jackie for three seasons, now moving into its fourth. What she had to say about Jackie finally getting what she had coming is awesome.

Falco told the Bangor Daily News, “Addiction has had such an impact on my life and the people I love, and there really is not a lot about it that is funny. So the last thing I wanted was to give the impression that it’s all fun and games, and isn’t it funny what she gets away with. It’s important that we are accurate as far as showing the ramifications of this kind of behavior.”

Nurse Jackie had been dabbling quite liberally in pharmaceuticals, and enjoyed her carte blanche love affair with pain killers–just as MANY Americans do. And now with the death of a long line of celebrities trailing off into the horizon just behind us, it has become clear we are a culture driven by a need to de-stress, to disappear, to make our problems vanish, no matter how artificially or for how short a period of time–we need to make reality go away, and we are killing ourselves doing just that. Why?

Because our country has some bizarre notion that marijuana is terrible, and should be illegal, and that other far more harmful “drugs” have benefit and are surely safe because a doctor’s name is on the bottle. It’s a rather clear and present danger if you are able to see past the degrees on the wall and understand that what we have before us is a monstrous display of how right and wrong are decided by who can make money, how much they can make, and how quickly they can make it. At who’s expense is never considered–the only thing that matters is that the money-holder’s agenda is met.

If you have been like Nurse Jackie, you can understand she has a long road in front of her, and that recovery from prescription meds is no joke at all. If this is a real life issue that you or someone you love is dealing with, try incorporating a full body cleanse into the mix to help quell the aches and pains of coming clean. It’s already a hard enough road with little support in the way of understanding that’s public, so if you need to help yourself through the process with a detox product, more power to you.

But in the end don’t ever forget what brought you to this–and that likely, if you did become addicted like Nurse Jackie did to prescription pills, there was probably a very well educated doctor sitting there all along who knows full well that marijuana can solve may problems without causing new ones. Marijuana can be used to bring on appetite, for pain management, for anxiety and panic disorders, and the list goes on. And if you don’t want to smoke it, you don’t have to–edibles are more “in” right now than ever before, so there’s a lot of great bakers and chefs and chocolatiers out there than ever before.

Just a little food for thought :)

Lindsay Lohan on SNL: Oh yes she did y’all

pass a drug test

A rite of passage

There’s something about Saturday Night Live that makes it a rite of passage for those who have stumbled off and back onto our celebrity radar. For Lindsay Lohan, second time’s the charm.

Lohan’s recent SNL appearance shows her getting pat down (another cast member is looking for a stash) and also shows her ankle bracelet beeping when she steps just a little too far forward on the stage. While I do enjoy a celebrity–especially one who is not a comedian–being able to make fun of herself, I have to say, this all felt very put on. The rite of passage was too obvious, too formulaic, and thankfully, the rest of this episode made me forget all about the forced opening scene.

Lohan was genius in Real Housewives of Disney, which you MUST now watch if you haven’t already. Here it is:

Will Lindsay Lohan ever be able to just have a beer or smoke a joint, or is she seriously and clinically an addict and a user? I personally think this distinction is one that celebrities have a much harder time defining than us average Joes. But why is that? Why is it that every time a celebrity gets caught smoking weed or having a few drinks that it means they absolutely must be hauled off to a rehab facility?

Is there a serious alcoholism and drug abuse pandemic going on in Hollywood, or is it that celebrities are supposed to be teetotalers? I don’t get it… we want them to be wild and free and represent everything we’re not allowed to be, but then, the moment we see them on camera with a bong or a bottle, off to Malibu they must go–nevermind using a simple body detox program, oh no–they need “serious treatment”–as if 30 days of being forced to room with other people who like booze too much is going to clean you up. Much like prison, all you’re going to learn is how to do it better. And maybe THAT is the REAL reason we have celebrities dropping like flies–because no one can have a freakin’ cocktail and a spliff anymore! It’s all about the virgin/whore complex–you’re either letter-perfect or a trainwreck–nothing in the middle is allowed to exist.

Tell me what you think and share with the rest of us how you passed your drug test too! Inquiring minds want to know ;)

The Situation goes to Rehab

Mike the Situation

Dancing with the Pills: Will there be a Season 6?

That’s right folks, your favorite juicebox needs recovery time for reported exhaustion that lead to prescription medication addiction and abuse.

Reportedly, Mike Sorrentino, AKA “The Situation” has checked into rehab. According to Dr. Drew, the celebrity from Jersey Shore has a problem with Xanax and Ambien, which the good doctor says can be a deadly combination due to the short-acting effects of both. Apparently, because both of these drugs have a half life of less than four hours, the addiction becomes a problem because users are trying to maintain the euphoria or sleepfulness they attain when on the drug. When their pills can’t keep up with the body’s demand for benzodiazepines or ambien, off to rehab we go.

The Situation is only one of a long line of celebrities to need help to detox from Xanax. At least he is alive to tell the story. We still don’y have the autopsy results for Whitney Houston, but chances are, benzo addiction played a major role in her death, among others this year.

The Situation’s need to be in rehab to detox from drugs may shake things up for the sixth season of the Jersey Shore franchise–especially now that we know Snooki will be heavily pregnant as well. Looks like the fun and games on the boardwalk and all the years of drunken stunts, trips to do laundry, gym, and tanning, and hunting for chicks to smash may have finally paid off… in the most logical manner possible. Unwanted pregnancy and drug addiction–doesn’t everyone have a summer like that?

I wish Mike all the best in recovery, but if he wants to stay on the party circuit, he needs to watch his habits, detox often, get plenty of rest, and try to get rest naturally. He might do well to take a season off, but then, would he be coming back to anything in a year? Or just an image that had washed up like all reality TV stardom does eventually? It’s nothing personal Mike, but maybe you should detox from drugs, stay clean, and try to find a day job. At least that way we won’t have to hear about someone finding your body slumped over in a corner a year from now and be forced to watch your funeral on the Fuse Network.

Amber Portwood of Teen Mom Fails Drug Test

pass a drug test

Amber Portwood can't seem to pass a drug test.

We first met Amber Portwood on 16 & Pregnant a few years ago when she was… 16 and pregnant. Through the course of her pregnancy and subsequent birth of her child, a daughter, we saw her waffle  back and forth on whether or not to stay in a relationship with the father, Gary.

Later, when Amber and Gary and their bundle of joy graduated to Teen Mom fame, we saw Amber berate and battle Gary, until it finally unfolded into a series of pretty serious domestic abuse instances. If you’re not familiar with the show, you’d be inclined to think it was dad who was the perpetrator of abuse–not so.

Since the abuse on footage was aired, MTV pulled no punches. Amber was sentenced to probation, and was also ordered to take drug tests. In December of 2011, Amber failed a drug test, and was sentenced to five years in prison–whoa!

Generally I’m against this kind of heavy sentencing for drug use, but in Amber Portwood’s case, and given that she has been convicted of assault and domestic abuse, I say there’s pretty just cause.

According to TMZ, Amber Portwood was recently unable to pass a drug test because she “didn’t have anything to pee.” Hmm… unfortunately for her, the courts see this as the same as a failed drug test. That said, Amber will have a chance to discuss the situation with the judge next week. However, the judge can make any decision he wants based on her inability to pass a drug test.

Amber Portwood could be spending a nickel at the ladies’ pen, but we’ll have to see what the judge decides next week.

Let me hear from you: Do you think the sentence is fair given the circumstances? Is drug testing EVER fair? Tell me your thoughts!


Does Niacin Work to Pass a Drug Test?

Does niacin work to pass a drug test?

This chemical compound can have you begging for mercy.

There’s been tons of chatter all over TV, the radio, and the Internet about using niacin to pass a drug test. I’m not sure where this story got it’s start, but it sure is a good urban myth.

The basic  idea is that people think niacin will rid their system of the toxins that drugs and other “stuff” leaves behind. According to this line of thinking, the properties of niacin will cleanse the human body… not so friends.

At best, niacin can help to mask certain toxins to some degree, and yes, it can mask THC–somewhat. However, it certainly ain’t foolproof and it is absolutely detectable by labs. Labs that have started to test for niacin and other masking agents and adulterants now that the trend has become so popular.

So, does niacin work to pass a drug test? Not really. And here are some awesome side effects you can expect if you take the doses of niacin “recommended” by people who claim to be gurus on the topic of passing a drug test with niacin:

  • Severe skin flushing combined with dizziness
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Itching
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Abdominal pain
  • Diarrhea
  • Severe liver damage (hepatoxicity)
Now this list of symptoms and side effects of niacin overdosing–which is what you’re doing when you do a “niacin flush” is taken from the Mayo Clinic’s database–not too shabby a resource, and I think you  can take their word for it.
If you believe you have overdosed on niacin, you need to get some medical attention. Niacin toxicity is no joke, and liver damage is a pretty high price to pay to pass a drug test for a job or any other reason.
Don’t buy into the hype about niacin is my basic bottom line. I’ve been counseling people on how to effectively and safely pass a drug test for a long time. The products I support and believe in have been around for more than 12 years, so they’ve had plenty of time to work out kinks and believe me, they are all natural permanent detoxes meant for passing a drug test, not some random method a stoner put together and slapped on the Internet for you to buy into.
Whatever your reasons for needing to pass a drug test, none of them is worth harming yourself. So if you’re asking the question, “Does niacin work to pass a drug test?” the answer is a firm “NO.”
Good luck test takers, and let me hear from you!

RIP Whitney Houston | The Importance of Detoxing from Benzos

Whitney Houston benzo addiction

The Voice: Whitney Houston

What a sad loss we’ve had. Watching the Whitney Houston funeral on CNN was so tragic. While we all knew that Whitney had trouble with drug abuse in the past, it kind of seemed like that part of her life was over. After going to rehab she seemed to be on track again, and having a good time hanging out with her daughter Bobbi Christina.

The tragic turn of events that lead to members of her entourage finding her in the bathtub begs the important question that Dr. Drew has been asking for years: Why do people think that prescription drugs are safer than street drugs? As Dr. Drew so poignantly notes over and over again, those who have suffered with addiction to street drugs–with a few exceptions–are for the most part still with us, while those who fell into the grip of prescription drug addiction are the ones we see dropping in unprecedented numbers throughout 2011-2012.

I have to make the point that I understand that some people really do need the kinds of prescription drugs that their doctors prescribe them–I know that social anxiety is no joke, and those in the spotlight are probably a lot more susceptible to this mental illness.

But I think even Dr. Drew would agree that while his stance on street drugs is pretty firm, it’s probably a lot less detrimental to smoke pot to cure this ailment. In addition, many people who have suffered with addiction to pain medications that are opiate-based like Vicadin, Percaset, and the like, have in some instances found that marijuana helps more with their pain and removes the physically addictive potential that painkillers have–and that addiction can end a life because strong prescription opiates depress the ability to breath.

But regardless of what your opinion of marijuana is, we know that most likely, what the coroner’s report for Whitney Houston will reveal is a deadly mixture of benzodiazepines and alcohol. There was Xanax on the scene, and reports reveal that Whitney had in fact been drinking champagne, despite her very recent release from outpatient rehab.

If you suffer from an addition to benzos like Xanax, Klonipin, Ativan, and Valium, doing a detox or full body cleanse to rid yourself of the toxins can really help. This is especially true for those trying to slowly come off of a benzo on a taper schedule. ALWAYS consult with your physician first, and ALWAYS go by the taper schedule that your doctor puts you on.

If you know that you are one of those people who will need benzos for life, there’s no shame in that. Many disorders like post traumatic stress disorder and generalized anxiety call for a regimen of benzos for therapeutic use.

With that said, remember that all drugs, even prescription drugs–leave toxins behind and give your liver and kidneys a serious workout. To protect your health and wellness, doing a body cleanse can really help those organs, your blood, and tissues to recover. That’s because a good, healthy detox includes a lot of fluid intake, changing your diet, and the use of a well-balanced formula of supplements to get your body to flush toxins out faster and more effectively.

My heart goes out to the Houston family and close friends. She will be missed–The Voice will never be forgotten!

Archer: drug testing taken as apathetically as we wish it could be

If you haven’t yet caught an episode of Archer, I highly recommend it. Start from the beginning. But if you’re an old hand at Archer, you just gotta love the new episode that includes drug testing.

One online TV reviewer wrote: “Episode Synopsis: Cyril is promoted to field agent, and Malory institutes a strict drug-testing policy at ISIS. The staff doesn’t think much of either development.”

I love it. For those of you who don’t know, Cyril is the do-anything-to-keep-up-with-Archer’s-coolness character played by Chris Parnell (of Saturday Night Live fame.)

In this episode, no one gives a damn about Cyril’s promotion because he’s a know-it-all, and has the relationship with Lana (the show’s femme fatale) that Archer once had and is constantly trying to rekindle… albeit… in his own “Archer” kinda way.

But the best part is how nonchalantly everyone is about having to pass a drug test. Here’s a short but hilarious clip from the drug testing episode of Archer in which receptionist Pam “beat boxes” due to obvious circumstances:

If only we all had a workplace like this one. Passing a drug test would be easy… but dodging bullets would be hard. Meh, I’ll take literal bullet-dodging over trying to pass a drug test any day of the week!

Daily Show FINALLY Airs Full Segment on Drug Testing Politicians!

I have blogged about what  did to Governor Rick Scott already, but the full segment on the Daily Show finally aired! Glorious. At every turn, Mandvi takes on political figures and government officials, including Scott Plakon. With the eloquent use of his own brand of humor, he makes them look like the hypocrites they are for enforcing a welfare drug policy that mandates drug testing of John Q. Public when they themselves refuse to take a drug test.

In addition to outting the fact that they refuse to take drug tests, The Daily Show correspondent also expounds on the preposterousness of the entire law that requires people to pass a drug test for welfare. To wit, less than two percent (2%) of all potential welfare recipients tested to date have failed the drug test. So now you’re saying, “Right on, good for them, that’ll show ‘em!”

But here’s the downside: Welfare applicants must pay the $30 to be drug tested up front, but if they pass a drug test–which they have 98+ percent of the time, the state of Florida’s taxpayers must fork over the greenbacks to pay for the passing test takers. So far, this has lead NOT to saving money by having the state “support drug addicts,” but has instead cost the state more than $200,000. Now that’s a lot of drug test passing!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Poor Pee-Ple
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I knew this would eventually happen, but it hasn’t hastened the pace of other states wanting to pass similar laws requiring those who need government aid to take a drug test. In a time when we’re all doing everything we can just to pay our taxes, and we’ve been saddled with the debt of the massive 2008 Wall Street Bailout, how can any state claim that such drug testing legislation will save anyone any money?

The only thing this kind of policy will do is drive an even larger wedge between blue and red states, Tea Partiers and 99 Percenters, rich and poor.

It’s already a breech of the fourth amendment that we have to be subjected to drug testing for employment, and that’s more than enough. The fact that we would have to scrape together $30 to pass a drug test while we’re already in the dumps just adds insult to injury.

Leave your comment below and let me know what you think of this–and of course, don’t miss out on this epic Daily Show segment!

Passing a Drug Test for Weed: Where’s My Flux Capacitor?

pass a piss test

Time... is it on your side?

Man, this has been a great week for a lot of the people I see across various forums for passing a drug test. But, sadly, there have been a few who did not pass drug tests for weed, and this makes me wish I had a time machine for them.

It’s hard not to get emotionally invested when you have been tracking someone’s story for days or even weeks, and then you hear back from them, only to find they failed a drug test. *sigh*

If the US government won’t allow us to smoke weed the same way people get to drink booze without any issues, they should at least provide us a flux capcitor in a sweet Delorean so we can jam back to three years ago, two months ago, or one night ago to forego the shame and anguish that comes with marijuana drug testing, not to mention the insane stress it carries with it.

Having to piss in a cup is bad enough when you have nothing to worry about–but you couple that humiliation with uncertainty and now you have a formula for a personal crisis; a total drug test meltdown.

The worst part is knowing that the guy in the cubicle next to you is a total boozehound who pounds a fifth of scotch as soon as he walks through his front door–he’ll pass a drug test just fine even though he shows up late to work, smells like a bar, and performs at levels you could accomplish in your sleep.

So what are we to do? In a country where even the permanently disabled are now required to pass a drug test for government assistance, you just HAVE to be able to pass a drug test no matter what. It’s stupid and unfair, but what’s the alternative? Are you gonna join the Occupy movement and live off the land? Probably not gonna work out, sad to say.

I’m eager to hear your thoughts on this issue. Tell me what you think about passing a drug test for weed. Is it fair, not fair, undecided, or do you wish you had a giant flux capacitor like I do that could take us all back in time so we wouldn’t have to freak out about drug tests?

Workaholics Piss and S**t episode: There is a better way guys!

Workaholics Piss and S**t Episode pass a drug test

Pass your drug test without trading ninja stars for weewee and hang on to some iota of dignity.

The premiere episode of Workaholics immediately illustrates that the name of this show is an ironic misnomer to say the least. That is to say, unless you are willing to work like a field hand or longshoreman to find clean urine with which to pass a drug test after partying yourself to the brink of near death the previous evening.

But what I absolutely friggin’ adore about this episode is not how hilarious the lengths these guys go to for urine to sub with to pass a drug test–it’s the fact that what they’re doing is seriously not all that far fetched. Offering a middle schooler firecrackers and porn for clean pee? Trust me guys, I’ve heard true to life stories at least this nuts as a drug forum moderator. People begging their kids for pee before the go off to elementary school in the morning, one guy even asked a neighbor for urine… in a neighborhood he had lived in for three days. Someone else (these are true stories, not snippets of Workaholics) tried to “scoop some pee out before the toilet flushed all the way” when his pregnant girlfriend walked away from the can. You can’t make this kind of crap up. Truth is stranger than fiction when it comes to people trying to figure out how to pass a drug test.

Poor souls, my God, settle down. Second-party clean pee is not the only way, or even the easiest way to pass a drug test. My Lord, before you go trying to scare up urine around town, just get a cleanser. It’s really funny to watch these people struggle on TV, but in real life, it’s downright humiliating… well, kinda funny for onlookers, but seriously, order a permanent cleanser to pass a piss test if you have about five days or so until your test, and get a same day detoxer if your drug test is sooner.

Make sure you get a detox drink or cleansing tablets from a reliable source that doesn’t use masking agents in their products–labs nowadays are testing for these in addition to testing for drugs.

Stop bartering nudey pics for peepee and get in touch with you silly stoners!

Celebrity Secret to Passing a Drug Test

celebrity secrets to passing a drug test

The secret is... Winning!

Many people are under the impression that celebrities have some hidden secret when it comes to passing a drug test. The truth of the matter is that everyone–including YOU–has the same access to drug passing methods that all celebrities have.

OMG, what could it be? HOW? It’s not as complicated as you think. What you need is a same day cleanser or permanent detox solution that removes the drug toxins from your digestive tract and urinart tract for a period of time in order for you to pass your drug test.

A same day cleanser will literally do this in a matter of about an hour or so, while a permanent detox solution might take about three to five days or so.

Essentially, what these detoxers do (most especially the same day cleanser that works in just one hour) is keep toxins that are in your fat stores and blood stream from entering your excretory system–and by so doing, make it possible for you to pass a drug test!

Did you really think Charlie Sheen had tiger blood, or that Snoop Dogg had really given up chronic? Think again. They got their cake, and now they are eating it–in front of you, the media, and the world.

So if you want some cake, make sure you’re prepared to pass a drug test. You have both immediate and long term options available, you just have to know how to get them.

And a word to the wise: same day cleansers can’t work the same day if you don’t have them–so if you are in a position where random drug testing can occur, I “highly” recommend keeping some same day detox caps on hand.

Now you know, so you can’t say you had no way to prepare for a drug test. The celebrity secret to passing a drug test is being prepared to pass one!

What the heck is a Detox Store?

detox stores

This ain't you--and you need to detox differently.

You all asked, so you shall receive! Many of you have been asking me what a detox store is. Well, there are lots of answers to that question. There are stores you can walk into to buy detox products, but these are mainly head shops where masking agents are sold, or places where jocks go to buy the latest and greatest way to conceal their steroid use.

If you’re looking for a real detox store, you need to be looking online, especially if you are looking for a weed detox or a way to pass a drug test that will work for everyday people, not Manny Pacquiao.

A lot of people who come to me are just trying to pass simple pre-employment drug tests and the occasional random drug test from their employer. They don’t need super powers to do this, but what they do need are proper drug test facts and know-how, followed by the proper product to cleanse if they need it.

You have to be careful with online detox stores too–a lot of these guys are pushing products that mask THC or other toxins, and nowadays, lots of labs are testing for masking agents. So you have to make damn sure that the product you are buying doesn’t contain masking agents–you have to be sure that what it does is to keep toxins out of your urine for the duration of the time you have to pass your drug test.

Most of us know when our drug test will be, so if you’re prepared ahead of time, you can take the right detox product and pass your drug test with no issues–it’s how celebrities pass drug tests all the time. But even if you have a random drug test sprung on you last minute, there are ways to pass FAST–but you need to have your emergency same day cleanser on hand to do this, so I suggest if you are a regular smoker to invest in this now before you regret not making a paycheck later.

Beyond that, I think having to know how to pass a drug test at all is not cool. I mean, if you work hard at your job, or if you’re looking for a job and have a good resume, and no track record of being a crappy employee, why should you have to jump through these hoops? But alas, that’s a huge question we’ll have to tackle across several other posts.

Good luck to all you test takers out there, and as always, I love hearing your feedback!

Celebs Now Smoking “Spice” to Pass a Drug Test

buy wicked spice

Rihanna buying Spice in LA

Well I figured something like this was coming down the pike, and you all know how much we look to hiphop artists and other famous musicians to take our cues from… okay, well that was a little tongue in cheek, but the kids around the world sure do. So now that passing a drug test has become a chore that could keep a celeb in or out of jail, cancel a recording contract, or have other devastating ramifications, many of them have turned to smoking what is being referred to as “spice.” My oh my, this is a problem.

Some of the celebs in question who have admitted to smoking spice, like Miley Cyrus, and others who are rumored to be smoking spice like Kid Cudi, Rihanna, Lil Wayne, and Kristen Stewart, are doing so for fun–the kind of fun that goes undetected in a typical drug test.

So why is this a problem? It’s called a name as general as “spice” for a reason–one never knows what it could actually contain, how it is treated, manicured, preserved, etc., and frankly, there’s no way to know the source of the spice in question. What one rap star gets at a head shop in Los Angeles isn’t going to be the same spice another celebrity gets in Manhattan, and so on. This is not yet a classified narcotic, and therefor you could LITERALLY be smoking anything.

Some news reports indicate that some vendors of spice, especially those overseas, have had their products lab tested by investigators to find a number of extremely harmful chemicals in them. Everything from formaldehyde to bleach, ammonia, and more.

To me, this is sending a dangerous message to our youngsters–can’t pass a drug test for marijuana? No problem, just smoke some of this totally random herb and you’ll pass your test. But the subtext is, what’s it doing to your organs, your brain, and so on–is it a depressant, a stimulant, something else? Who knows?!

One thing is for sure, it isn’t homegrown weed. And while marijuana doesn’t currently enjoy legality in most instances, when it comes from a dispensary or other safe place, it’s certainly safer on the human body that what’s behind door number two.

Don’t let the powers that be scare you into smoking or otherwise consuming something that could be permanently detrimental to your health. Do what’s best and be prepared to pass a drug test at all times. It’s cheaper, easier, smarter, and your body will thank you for not ingesting poisons. That’s my two cents!